I want your love
by hsds
Summary: Reupload of my S3 story. : Dan and Serena start spending time even though they are both dating other people. What will happen as they grow closer? Will they get together or stay in their bad romances?Dan and Serena, Nate and Serena, Dan and Vanessa, Vanessa/loneliness, Nate/Jenny. If you ship the fail (nsdv) do not read this story
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Dan and Serena start spending time even though they are both dating other people. What will happen as they grow closer? Will they get together or stay in their bad romances?

**Rating:** M (cause I have a dirty mind)

Pairings: Dan and Serena, Nate and Serena, Dan and Vanessa, Vanessa/loneliness, Nate/Jenny

**Author's Note:** I am a huge DS fan, if you ship the fail, do not read this story.

Chapter 1: I want your ugly, your disease, your everything….

Christmas was such a lonely time for Dan. It only seemed to stir up feelings of loneliness and despair. He remembered a time when it was magical and full of all the good the world had to offer. It was one of the few holidays that he didn't snark about it. Growing it had always been a time for family and he had fond memories of waking up to waffles and presents under the tree which was often followed by sledding in the park down the street. Dan knew he was lucky. He'd been gifted with a good childhood, but lately everything in his life seemed so dark, so gloomy. True, he had a girlfriend, someone he had known for years, but for some reason he wasn't happy. It was a Christmas Eve and he was going to go over to the penthouse for the new set of traditions his father was attempting to cultivate with the Van Der Woodsens. He was still increduluous that his father was so unsympathetic that he couldn't see how uncomfortable this new family made him feel. This was not how it was supposed to be. How had he fallen into this pattern of resentment mixed with apathy. Nothing made him feel anymore. Writing was no longer a source of joy. The only things he wrote these days were his term paper. Putting pen to paper was just too difficult. He thought being with Vanessa would change that. He was hoping she would inspire him, but the reverse had occurred. The early passion of their relationship had dwindled and he was felt with a feeling that he was settling. Was this really all he could hope for? He was too young to feel so trapped. Dan sighed and took out a box that he had kept hidden under his bed. The box contained letters and half-written stories from the summertime. No matter how much he tried to deny it, the loss of her was so palpable. He thought, he would atleast be able to keep her friendship, but it was obvious he mattered so little to her. Dan was so caught up in his self-loathing he didn't notice the sound of the door opening and muffled voices. He poked his head through his bedroom door and was surprised to see Serena standing there with his sister and father.

"Serena?"he asked.

"Dan, you're here. I'm so glad its been so long."

He gritted his teeth and said, "Where else would I be?"he replied. Not that you care, he thought to himself. Serena looked at him questioningly. She wasn't expecting the barely veiled hostility coming from him. She watched him grunt and go back into his room. She decided to go talk to him and figure out exactly what was going on. When she found him, he was stuffing a box under his bed.

"What's in the box?"

"Stuff."

"What's wrong with you?"Dan.

"What do you want Serena?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"She said angrily.

Dan crossed his arms across his chest as he lay on his bed and said, "Well let's see. You show up here acting like everything is kosher when we haven't spoken in months. So, excuse me if I find it a little hard to believe that you suddenly care."

Serena closed her eyes, trying to hide the pangs of guilt she had been attempting to suppress. She had wanted to re-establish their connection, their friendship for so long, but being around was just too painful. She thought he understood, to her it was like an unspoken thing between them. They couldn't be together, so it was best to keep their distance.

"I care,"she said softly.

"You have a funny way of showing it,"he mumbled.

"Friendship is a two-way street Dan. It's not like you've tried either."

"That's not true. I tried all summer and this fall, but you kept shutting me out. Anyways it doesn't matter. It is what it is."

Serena sat on the bed next to him and said, "I'm sorry. I don't want it to be like this between us."

"Stop apologizing. You always do that and then I feel like a jerk for simply expressing myself."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Whatever you want? How's nate? You must be happy you finally got everything you've always wanted, no more wasting your time with lowly Brooklyn creatures,"dan said bitterly. He didn't get where this was all coming from, but it was like he had kept all this stuff buried inside and it was finally bubbling to the surface.

"What is that supposed to mean?"Serena said more than a little hurt.

"It means that I get it now. It finally all makes sense. I was a place holder. That's why you…. Never mind."

"No, finish what you were saying. That's why I what?"

"That's why you gave up on us and let them win."

Serena eyes began to brim with tears. She didn't know what to say. His words cut like a knife, but part of what he was saying was true. She did let him go, but by the time she was ready to take it back, it was too late.

"I loved you Dan. I loved you more than life itself."

He turned away from her. He couldn't look at her when all he wanted to do was cry. He wasn't a crier, he barely liked to show emotion at all. He felt her arm on his back. "Talk to me dan. I never realized how deeply I've hurt you."

"You never do,"he said matter-of-factly. He sat up and wiped the tears from his face and turned to look at her. "I'm sorry if I was harsh. I, I don't know what came over me."

"Don't apologize, but I need you to know that you were never a place holder. I'm sorry I shut you out, it was just so hard."

"I know. I tried to keep busy. Do anything I could think of so I didn't have to think about everything."

Serena held his face in her hands and said, "You matter to me, Dan. You always have." He looked at her and froze, that old electricity was back. For one, Dan just dove in without thinking. He held the back of her head with his right hand and kissed her gently. Stopping to see if he had gone to far, but she merely kissed him back. They sat there in an embrace that felt like they were finally coming home. He could feel the salt of her tears against his cheeks and a little piece of his heart broke. They finally broke apart and they came crashing together again. This time their kisses were feverish and they tore at each other, both impatient to feel as much of each other as they could. Serena's dress quickly joined the pile of dan's discarded clothing on the floor. She sat cradled in his lap, her hair cascading down her back as she kissed him hungrily. Neither of them thought about the people they could be hurting, all that seemed to matter was them. Afterwards, they lay in each others arms. Serena felt safe and content, but she also knew that she'd better get dressed before everyone figured out what was happening. She, got up and hurriedly put on her clothes.

"We'll talk about this later, I promise. But, it would be really awkward if we were caught like this don't you think?"she said hurriedly.

"Of course."

He watched her clean herself up and exit his room like nothing had just happened and that was when the gravity of what they had just done finally hit him. But, for some reason he didn't care. For the first time in 6 months, Dan Humphrey smiled a real smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone for the reviews and feedback, you know me I get inspired at the weirdest time. Jeda, it's not dirty yet, but trust me it will get there. LOL. There is a twist in this story and be prepared for a lot of emotion, and angst. Yes, I know I suck, but the ending will be worth it. I am going to focus on this. So, no updates for other stories until this is done. Sorry :(

_**Chapter 2: I want your drama, your touch, your kiss…**_

Dan spent the majority of his day typing away on his laptop as his father and sister made last minute preparation for the big Christmas dinner that was going to be held at the Penthouse later that evening. He knew that he needed to speak to Serena about what happened between earlier that day, but for now he was just happy to have some inspiration. A part of him hated how much influence she had over his life and especially his happiness. She had the power to make him feel miserable, lonely, and ecstatically happy. It really wasn't fair. Serena had cast a spell on him and there was no sign of it ever lifting. The sound of his phone going off dragged him from his thoughts.

"Hey baby," a familiar female voice murmured.

"Hi,"he replied tersly. A lump was forming in his throat, mostly due to the guilt of what he had done. It hadn't really hit him until this moment.

"what's wrong?"Vanessa asked.

"Ugh, nothing. Why do I sound like something is wrong? I am probably just coming down with something,"he rambled.

Vanessa pursed her lips and played with the long beaded necklace that she wore. Something was definitely up. He was lying and she knew it, but she wondered what it exactly he had to hide. "You're lying? What the hell is going on Dan?"

"I, I'm not lying. I'm just a little bored and I miss you,"he said. The sad part was that he didn't miss her at all. He knew that he should, but her presence just didn't have the impact that it used to have. He felt more than a little guilty because for the longest time she had been his only friend, but now they were more and his heart just wasn't in the relationship any longer. Dan still couldn't stop thinking about Serena. She made him equally frustrated and excited, something Vanessa never had. With her it was simply comfortable. The only thing that had changed since they got together was the fact that they had sex.

"I miss you too, Dan. I'll be home just after the new year. Anyways have a merry Christmas. So, what are the Humphreys doing this year? The usual eggnog, and presents to Rufus's guitar strumming"

"Thankfully no. We're doing something new at the penthouse."

"With the richies?"

"Vanessa!"

"Sorry, I just don't see why you guys have to change all your traditions just because Rufus married Lily. It doesn't make any sense. Have you finished your application for Tisch yet?"

"No and I probably am not going to do?"

"why?"

"I don't know, I just don't feel like it."

"What's up with all this apathy, Dan?"

"Nothing really."

"Are you depressed? You have been really weird lately and that could be it. Huge life changes sometimes affect ones mood."

"So now you're my shrink? I've got to go, V. Talk later,"he said before hanging up the phone.

Dan knew he wasn't depressed, he just wasn't happy and there was no way he could just say that without explaining why and he didn't think she would want to know the real reason for his unhappiness.

* * *

Serena took one last look at herself in the mirror before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. The dinner was about to start and she still hadn't made a decision about what to do about the situation with Dan. It was unexpected and all those feelings she had buried came bubbling to the surface. What they had done was wrong, but it felt so good. She didn't want to be the kind of girl that went around breaking up relationships. She'd done it a few times in the past, but mostly with guys who had little to no hold on her. There was no sense of guilt that accompanied those relationships, if you could even call them that. But, she was with Nate and he was with Vanessa. Two people that had been a part of both of their lives for years. Getting together was not going to fix their problems. It was not going to make their parents magically divorce. She hated that he wasn't a part of her life, but it was also difficult for her to be around him and for them not to be together. She thought she could handle being friends with Dan, but when he started dating Olivia she knew she couldn't handle it and not soon afterwards he had started going out with Vanessa. He had accused her of using him as a place holder earlier, but really she only started dating Nate after she had found out about Vanessa and Dan. It had nearly devastated her to discover the one girl that had truly threatened her relationship, who was always around, hovering over them like a dark cloud was now his girlfriend. A part of her began to wonder if this was simply how it was meant to be, but now everything was different. She had bolted out of his bedroom this morning because she was afraid of having that post-sex conversation that was bound to come. She needed time to think, to clear her head. She had come to no conclusions all day and now she was off to the family dinner.

"It's now or never Serena,"she said to herself

A little while later, she was sitting in the living room of the penthouse trying to avoid eye contact with Dan because if she looked at him she knew that she would not have the strength to deny him. So, she smiled and chatted with Jenny and vaguely answered questions that Rufus would throw to her. Her mother simply sipped some wine and looked from her to Dan. Lily was not stupid, something had shifted. She could tell that something was different between her daughter and step-son and she didn't like it one bit. She always had trouble with Dan because he reminded her little too much of her ex-husband rather than his father and her current husband. They both had this edge, this devil-may-care attitude and a sensitivity that could completely disarm you.

"So, Daniel. How is school? I hear you're dating Vanessa. I think that's darling."

"School is fine and yes I'm dating her, for now"he said.

Lily raised her eyebrows and said, "trouble in paradise."

"Some relationships just aren't meant to last," he said as he looked directly at Serena. She caught his gaze and she could feel her stomach doing little flips. Rufus looked from his son to Serena and began to notice the vibe between the two of them. He felt a twinge of something akin to guilt, but he quickly dismissed it and smiled sweetly at his new family.

"I think we should open the gifts now?"Rufus suggested. Serena smiled brightly and quickly made it to the other room where the Christmas tree sat with an overabundance of gifts. She loved having an actual Christmas for one. Rather than some stuff party and a pathetic excuse of a tree, there was a giant fir in her living room and gifts galore under the three. The scene reminded her a bit of that first Christmas she had shared with Dan. After their glorious evening, she came home to find the biggest most beautiful tree she could have ever dreamed of. She smiled wistfully and looked over at him as he attempted to open one of his gifts. It was a bound notebook with his name inscribed on the top. Dan looked at Serena and knew instantly that it was from her.

"This is perfect,"he said as he got up and hugged her. She clung to him not wanting to let him go. She could feel a single tear slowly flowing down her face. She quickly wiped it away before someone noticed but her mother had caught sight of it and sighed. Dan opened the rest of his presents and it accompanied the usual jokes and teasing that any family had. Serena was the last to open her presents and when she got to Dan's she held it up and jostled it. "Such a small box. Couldn't do any better than that Dan?"

"I'm a man of small means,"he said as he shrugged. She opened it and inside found a necklace with a small locket. There was a picture of her on one side and a line from a poem on the other that read_"Bravery is sifting through the pain with a smile."_

Serena smiled at him and touched his hands. "thank you." He ducked his head and smiled. He pushed the last gift towards her. "You've got one more."

"Who is it from?"Serena asked. Nobody knew, but Rufus told her it had arrived by special messenger earlier that day. She tore at the beautiful wrapping and found a small brown box inside. She opened it up and figurine of a ballet dancer moved to the sound of the nutcracker. Inside she found a note. Serena's face fell and she immediately left the room. A worried Dan followed her into the other room where he found her crying yet again.

"Are you okay? You keep crying. What's wrong?"he asked.

Serena passed him the envelope and he looked at address. "Your father?" She nodded and said, "I spent the entire summer looking for him and he refused to see me, so I threw myself into distraction after distraction and then I just get this letter. I just don't understand."

"Why, why didn't you tell me?"

"I felt foolish. Like I was looking for a pipe dream,"she said.

"I would have helped you. You can tell me anything. So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I am going to do,"she said.

Dan held out his arms and said, "Come here." He held her tightly to him and let her cry until she couldn't cry anymore. "Shh, its going to be okay. I'm here,"he whispered into her hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Okay I hope you all like this chapter. So, it's not just S that has family issues. LOL. I have a little game for you all. Each chapter contains a song lyric. Let's play guess the song. The first two are easy, but it starts to get tricky now.

Chapter 3: I know just where I find the answers

The rest of Christmas seemed to pass in a haze. Serena threw herself into the festivities in order to not think about the gift from her father. She was spending a lot of time with Dan, but they still hadn't discussed what had transpired the other day nor had they discussed her father. The state of their relationship was literally the white elephant in the room. Dan had also avoided nearly all of Vanessa's phone calls. He knew it was over and deep down he was sure she did as well. The last thing he wanted was to have another fight with her over absolutely nothing at all, so he chose the path of least resistance—total avoidance. He was heading over to a local café with Serena after a very useless trip to some local stores. Blair was in Paris, so she had recruited him as her shopping partner of choice. But, he didn't care it was something they used to do all the time back when they were a couple. He'd hum and haw, make nice comments, get her to laugh and enjoy looking at her as she tried on various outfits.

"Hey, try smiling buddy."

"I just spent the entire day shopping. You know I'm not a girl right?"

Serena looked him up and down, "really? I thought you were jenny dressed in drag."

"Ha-ha very funny. Come on I need some caffeine, "he said as he balanced her bags in one hand and opened the door for her with the other. He put her bags down and went to get them some coffee and a little something to munch on. He sat down with their food and drinks in hand and smiled at her.

"All kidding aside, it was fun hanging out with you. Do you miss Blair?"

"I do, but I also love spending time with you. I don't want us to ever do what we did this past year. You mean too much to me. You'll always be a part of my life."

"Ditto. Now, enough with the sap. Have you decided what movie you want to see?"

"Dear John!"

"Dear God no!"

"Why? It's cute."

"It's a Nicholas sparks."

"Come on, Dan admit it, you love him. You aspire to be him. I saw you crying when we watched the notebook."

"It was sad, it's like she forgot everything than when she finally remembered they died. What a jip!"

"You are such a girl!"Serena said as she giggled. They sat in companionable silence as they drank their coffees and shared the cheesecake he had bought for her. Dan's eyes locked with her as she placed the fork in his mouth. He chewed on the desert and said, "Hmm tastes good." Dan then leaned over and kissed her softly.

"Tastes even better, "he said as he looked at her passionately. Serena leaned over the table grabbed him by his shirt collar and kissed him until he couldn't think straight. Dan licked his lips and stared across at her. She got up and grabbed him by the hand and dragged him down the hall and into the bathroom. She closed the door and locked it behind them. Serena pushed him up against the wall and covered him in kisses. She had missed his touch and his new look had been driving her crazy for quite awhile. She pulled off his sweater and threw it on the floor and raked her fingernails across his chest. "Ouch,"he muttered.

"No pain, no gain Dan."

"Is that so?"He said as he started lightly nibbling on her neck. Serena threw her head back and pulled him closer as he marked her and branded her as if she only belonged to him. His hands were roaming under her shirt, skimming the outline of her bra, when they heard a loud knocking on the door. "Can you hurry up?Other people wanna use the goddamn bathroom too,"yelled a loud voice.

"Just a minute,"Dan replied as Serena giggled into his shoulders. He put his shirt back on while she smoothed her mussed her and made sure her clothes weren't askew. They walked out hand-in-hand shocking the large man waiting to use the bathroom. Dan grabbed her stuff and they left the café as quickly as they could.

"That wasn't the best idea,"Dan said barely able to contain his laughter. Serena looped her arm into his and said, "next time we should choose our bathrooms more carefully."

"Next time?"

"Whey?don't you want there to be a next time?"she asked.

"I do, but shouldn't we talk about this first?"he said. Serena removed her arm from his and folded it across her chest. "Talk about what exactly?"

"Your father, my girlfriend, your boyfriend."

She simply stared at him coldly. "I don't know what you're getting at?"

Dan looked at her tenderly. He knew that she was putting up walls in order to detract from the point. He placed his hands on her delicate shoulders and said, "I love you, but this is not how I want us to happen. You deserve better, we deserve better. I don't want to be the bad guy, but I don't think we should do this until you've dealt with all this stuff with your dad. I know we both just got carried away, but I just think we should wait,"he rambled.

Serena face broke out in a gradual smile and she shoved him a bit. "You're probably right."

"So, what are you going to do? I don't wanna push you, but if you wanna talk about it, I'm here."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Just take your time and know I'm here,"he said as he took her hand and they walked the rest of the way home. Serena looked at this boy, the one person she's truly loved and was amazed at how he always knew the right things to say. She was in a bad place right now, but one thing she knew for sure is that with Dan by her side, it would be okay. When they got to the penthouse she sat on her bed and looked up at him. "I'm going to see him, but I can't do it alone. Come with me?"

"You want me to come with you?"he asked. She looked up at him and said, "I need you to."

This summer she had Carter with her as they roamed from one city to another on what ended up being nothing more than a wild goose chase. But, what she really needed only Dan could provide—love and support.

He looked at her, smiled and said, "I'll be there whenever, wherever."

Dan went home to pack a few things since their flight was headed out tonight. He just wanted Serena to get whatever she wanted, but a part of him really worried that she was headed towards even more disappointment. This was a man who had abandoned both of his children and had not been heard from for well over ten years. He was worried that she was setting herself up for more pain. He zipped up his small suitcase and threw his laptop bag over his shoulder. He was about to head out when his father entered the loft.

"Where are you going?"

"On a trip. I'll be back in a few days."

"Weren't you even going to tell me?"Rufus asked.

"I'm 19 not 5."

"But, you're still my son."

"Dad, I'm not in the mood for some enlightening lectures. I'm in a hurry."

Rufus placed his hand on Dan's shoulders and said, "What's with the tude?"

"What tude? And since when do you use the word 'tude?"

"Are you going with Serena?"

Rufus looked at his son a beat and immediately knew what he was up to. "You're going with Serena, aren't you?" Dan didn't reply.

"Have you any idea what you are doing? Are you really willing to sacrifice your relationship, a life long friendship…."

Dan rolled his eyes and said, "So, now you suddenly give a shit about my relationships? When it suits you. I don't have time for your hypocritical rambling," he said as he left the loft and headed outside where Serena was waiting for him inside a limo. Dan handed off his stuff to the driver and climbed inside. He smiled at Serena and reached his hand out to hers and said, "you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be,"she said as she smiled at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Warning lots of smut! I mean lots of it.

**Chapter Four:** Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it

Dan reached into his bag and took out his ipod. He laid back and let the tunes wash over him as Serena laid her head on his lap. She had fallen asleep almost immediately. He ran his hands through her hair as she slept. She looked so peaceful, but he knew that was far from the truth. He was so conflicted. He just wanted to be with her and he knew she felt the same, but everything was complicated. He was technically still with Vanessa and she was dating Nate, but neither of them were an issue because they were with their respective families for the holidays. He was just so happy to feel needed again. As much as he hated to admit it, he was the sort of person that needed to feel useful, that he could actually help the person he was with. Vanessa never needed him for anything. She was always was in control and trying to see into his mind which always left him feeling uncomfortable and wanting to runaway. He still wasn't sure how exactly he ended up in a relationship with her. They had gone out one night and gotten blitzed and he'd woken up the next morning with more than a little guilt over having had a one-night stand with his best friend. Dan was not really big on the whole one-nighter thing, even though experience told him that he was better off loving than leaving them. But, Vanessa had been a part of his life forever so he had someone how convinced himself that it must mean more. Three months later, he knew that wasn't the case. The demands she used to try and make on him as friends had increased ten-fold now that she was his girlfriend. Nothing had gone right since that faithful day when his relationship with Serena had come to an end. He lost Yale, he lost her. He thought NYU would be a better fit, but all it really was him surrounded by people who insisted on fawning all over him. True, he was surrounded by like-minded artists. But, he still felt like he was in some surreal, post-modern nightmare. He just wanted Serena back in his life. He wanted his parents to have never married, he wished that Scott had never been borne. A part of him wanted to go back to a time when life was simple and his biggest care was figuring out what he was going to eat that night. He missed his mother. Her simple elegance often reminded him of Serena and the severing of their relationship caused him more pain than he would ever admit. But, the next few days was about her, not him. He smiled as she stirred. Serena looked up at him and smiled. "Hey, what's wrong?"she asked as she noted the worried furrowing of his brow. She hated when he got in this mood. She would try to tap into what he was really feeling and often times he would dismiss it as if it was nothing.

"I'm fine."

"No, Dan you are not fine. Now, talk to me," she said as she sat up in her seat.

"It's Vanesa, well its just that I don't know, um, why I'm with her."

Serena listened to him intently trying not to react at the sound of her name. Her biggest fear used to be that one day he realized he wanted her and that he'd leave her for Vanessa. But, she really shouldn't care. He was with Vanessa and she was with Nate, but she couldn't help it. "Why? I thought this was something you really wanted?"

"No, not really. It sort of just happened and its been just weird since that night we hooked up?"

Serena turned her head in surprise, "what? You mean you guys had a one night stand and now you're dating."

"Basically,"dan said.

Serena burst into laughter. "Oh Dan, you really don't know how one night stands work do you?"

"Not really my style."

"so, what you are gonna keep guilting yourself into relationships that you don't wanna be in? that's just dumb."

"You're not really helping my ego here.'

"I think its sweet that you're so noble, but cut it out. Plus didn't anyone ever tell you not to fuck your best friend unless you really mean it."

Dan looked at her a beat and said, "No, no one did."

"So, what else is bugging you cause its got to be more than Vanessa? I know you. This situation is not something that's exactly weighing on your mind. So, what's really going on?"

"It's my mom."

Serena looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. He never talked about Alison unless he was remembering some childhood event. He didn't like talking about her in the present tense unless it was about some trip to Hudson he was inevitably trying to forget about. She always sensed that things weren't good, but it was one thing he hated talking about so she let him be. "Is everything okay with her?"

"If by okay you mean we don't talk, then yeah it's just peachy."

"Ooh bitterness and snark in one breath. That's always a bad sign,"Serena said as she giggled.

"I can't help it. We just don't get along, plus I hate Alex. The man could be my older brother. It's disgusting. It's not like she cares about us anyway. No wonder Jenny is such a mess."

Serena reached out and held his hand in hers. She wanted to touch his pain away, but she knew what it was like to not feel loved by a parent. She'd always assumed that he had it so easy. He grew up with two parents who loved him, but losing one of them the way he did had to hurt as well. Everyone had their demons, she just assumed that Dan's were nonexistent. "I didn't know things were so bad with you guys."

"Don't get me wrong. I know I'm lucky. I had my mom around for most of my life and I guess she loves us, but she just I don't know she's been a pretty crappy mother lately. It's like she thinks she isn't needed anymore so aside from those once a year gifts and lame visits during Christmas I don't really talk to her and we used to talk all the time. I'm sorry, this is supposed to be about you and I'm boring you with my lame problems."

"We're friends Dan. You're being here for me means the world, but that doesn't mean I won't be here for you."

He sighed and said, "Thanks."

It was nearly dark when they got to their hotel. Serena walked up to the desk and she was speaking to the concierge animatedly as Dan stood back and watched their stuff. He'd been standing there for over twenty minutes. He didn't know what she was saying to him, but it couldn't be good. When she finally joined him she looked more than a little frustrated.

"He gave away your room,"she said.

"What?"

"We only have a single. I tried to get us another room, but apparently there was nothing else available."

"Can they just give away somebody's room like that?"he asked as he rubbed her shoulders. She used to love when he did that cause it would always calm her down.

"I'm sorry,"she said as she frowned.

"It's no big deal. I'll sleep on the floor and we'll go to a different place tomorrow night."

Dan and Serena made there way up to their room and he placed her stuff on the floor. Serena wrapped her long blonde locks in a bun and headed for the shower as Dan unpacked his suitcase and took out a clean pair of boxers, his favorite shirt and then he went searching from extra sheets he could place on the floor. It was going to be a long night, but he didn't mind. He took some pillows off the bed and placed them on top of the sheets and took out a book and started to read as he waited for her to come out of the shower. After a few minutes, his phone began to ring again. He looked at the caller id and hit ignore. He really did not want to speak to her, not tonight. When he looked up he saw Serena standing there in a terry-cloth robe with her wet hair cascading down her back.

_God she's beautiful_

There eyes locked and it was as if time had stood still. All he wanted to do was touch her, but they both knew it was a bad idea. They each had other relationships and both of them were dealing with some heavy family issues. They couldn't just jump back in time and pretend like nothing had ever happened.

"I, I, I'm gonna go take a shower,"he said.

_A cold one._

Dan stripped off his clothes and hopped into the shower and attempted to think of anything, but Serena but it was not working. He started remembering the feel of her skin, her full breasts and the long legs. His hand started to creep down towards his penis. He rubbed himself aggressively as images of Serena naked and sweaty re-entered his psyche. He was so caught up in satisfying himself that he didn't hear the sound of the shower door creeping open. Serena had come in to get some lotion that she had left in their when she heard his moans coming from inside the shower. She couldn't believe that he was masturbating in the shower. She always thought he had more control than that. She really didn't see the point of pretending that they didn't want each other so she stripped off her robe and pulled open the curtain and joined him.

"what, what are you doing?"he said, more than a little embarrassed by being caught in the act.

"Making this a little less lonely for you,"she said as she reached around his waste and took his shaft in her hand, repeating the same strokes he had been making earlier. The feeling of her breasts pressed against his back and the ministrations of her hand made dan lose complete control. He came all over her hands in an instant. "that didn't take you long,"she giggled.

"You are evil."

"Not evil just horny."

"I don't think this is the best idea,Serena."

"Don't think just act,"she said as she nibbled on his ear. Dan turned around and pinned her against the wall and began kissing along her neck. "I don't have a condom."

"We'll improvise."

He caressed her sides as his lips trailed a path along her neck down to the valley between her breasts. He started fondling her breasts and sucking on one and the other. Her glorious boobs were always his favorite thing about her body. They were full and sensitive. Her small gasps let him know he was hitting all the right buttons. His hands reached down to her lips and felt the wetness that lay between them. The fact that he could turn her on always made him feel so powerful. A gorgeous girl like her wanted him. He let his fingers explore her core until she looked as if she was going to lose complete control. "Turn around,"he demanded. Once she did as he told her too he pushed her hips so that he had easy access. He entered her in one swift motion and soon they were both rocking to the rhythm of their bodies. Dan kept pumping in out of her as she moaned for more. He held her tightly as first one then another orgasm ripped through her body. He pulled out just before he came.

Afterwards they stood in the shower clinging to one another. "Wow, I see you've only gotten better with practice,"she teased.

"Shut up,"he said as he kissed her gently.

Serena and Dan stumbled out of the bathroom and fell backwards on the bed, they both wanted as much of each other as they could take in. Serena kissed along his body. Enjoying the new muscles he had developed and wanting to know that she still had the ability to drive him crazy like no one else could. She took him into her mouth and felt him swell as she worked her ministrations along his shaft. She looked up at him and smiled when she saw the lust in his eyes and the sound of his moans merely spurred her along. He bucked his hips pushing himself deeper into her mouth. Before she realized he had come in her mouth and his seed was dripping along her chin as she did her best to lap it up.

Serena and dan spent the night making love each other till neither of them could think straight. His stamina amazed her and by the end of the night she was sore in ways she didn't think were possible. They eventually fell asleep in each others arms and only woke when the sun streamed through the windows.

Dan and Serena sat on the bed holding hands as they tried not to think of the ramifications of the last few days. Despite a declaration to stay away from each other physically they couldn't seem to help themselves, but they both knew that sex would only complicate things, but had been so long since they'd been together it was if their bodies were begging for what they'd been craving for so long. Emotionally, they'd never been closer but Dan knew and so did she that until she sorted this stuff out with her father that she would never fully be his. It didn't help that what they were doing was cheating.

"Are we going to talk about it?"he asked.

"Eventually, but not here. Not in Savannah. Can't we just pretend till we get back to New York."

Dan sighed. "You always want to pretend, but okay just for a few days then we talk okay?"

She laid her head on his shoulder and said, "Okay."

They sat there in silence as tears trickled slowly down Serena's tears. The mood had shifted instantly when he mentioned the reason they were really there. Her fear was palpable and all he wanted to do was hold her and make the pain go away. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'm gonna be."

A few hours later they found themselves standing in front of an old Victorian home in a quiet residential neighborhood. The door was painted blue and the porch was large and had a swing. As they stood there debating whether to knock her not a young girl started to tug on Dan's shirt. "who are you?"

He looked at the young girl with strawberry blonde hair and who looked like a miniature version of Serena and smiled. She had to be 6, 7 at the oldest.

"I'm dan, what's your name?

"angie."

Dan held out his hand as Serena smiled at them both "Nice to meet you angie. Do you live here?"

"Yeah that's my house."

"Is your mommie or daddy home, angie?"Serena asked.

"I'm seven not four,"the young girl snapped.

"sorry, I'm not really good with little kids."

"Obviously,"she snarked as she stomped into the house and hollered for her mother.

Serena looked at Dan and he held her hand in hers comfortingly. They were greeted by a woman in her early to mid thirties who had auburn hair and fine bone structure.

"Hello, how can I help you?"she asked in a southern drawl.

"I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen, William's daughter."

The woman stood there with her mouth hanging open.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **First my apologies for the delay and the brevity of this chapter, the next one is all fluff. A special shout-out to Emily and D. Thanks for being so patient with me guys. I promise to give you plenty of DS to read this summer.

**Chapter 5: **I'll reach out my hand to you

_**I'll be there to comfort you  
Build my world of dreams around you  
I'm so glad I found you yeah  
I'll be there with a love so strong  
I'll be your strength  
You know I'll keep holding on**_

Serena looked at Dan needing his comfort, his reassurance that coming here wasn't a bad idea. They stood hand-in-hand looking at the woman that stood before them. Dan observed a miriade of emotions cross her face and in an instance her entire expression changed and she ushered them inside. She asked them to take a seat and Serena bit her lip as they followed her into the comfortable living room. Their home was so different from what she'd become accustomed to it. It was simple and elegant, but it exuded a certain-middleclass vibe that she'd only ever experienced when she visited the loft.

"Was this how everyone lived?"she thought to herself. The woman placed her hands daintly in her lap. Despite the average surroundings there was a certain air of sophistication that exuded from every pore.

"Are you thirsty? I have some lemonade?"she asked.

"No, it's okay. I just was wondering if I could speak to him, Ms….."

"Call me Caroline. I really wish he were here, but he's still on a mission in Africa and he won't be back for another three months. I wish I had known you were coming," she said through a guarded smile. Dan was still holding on to Serena's hand as the woman spoke.

"I know this must be a bit of a shock to you," she said as she spoke animatedly. Serena simply listened and nodded her head. She came here to see her dad and was thrown by the knowledge that her father had started a whole other life. He had replaced her. "No wonder he didn't want me," she thought to herself. She could feel the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes. She looked over at dan who was sitting quietly taking everything. There eyes met and in that simple glance she was able to draw the strength she needed to make it through the idle chit chat that woman seemed to be insistent that they engage in. The young girl who they'd met earlier came barreling in covered in dirt. She was wearing a dress, but she could have been adorned in jeans for all she seemed to care.

"You're still here?"she said with disgust.

"Angie that's rude,"Caroline said.

"Whatever,"she said as she rolled her eyes. Serena immediately started laughing at the spunk contained in that little girl. At that age, she cared more about being nice to everyone. She sort of reminded her of Blair. Dan simply looked at the little she-devil and rolled his eyes. "She reminds me of my sister,"he said.

"Was jenny that bad?"Serena asked.

"Bad? No. Bratty, sure. But, I'm kind of obliged to feel that way since she's my baby sister."

"You realize she's not a baby anymore."

Dan gave her glance and said, "she'll always be my baby sister."

Caroline watched the two teenagers and was amazed at what a comfortable bond that they seem to share. The boy was still holding her hand comfortingly as they engaged in what seemed to be a practiced banter. She knew William would be sad and more than a little guilty about having missed out on getting to know his beautiful daughter. She could sense his guilt at night and when he interacted with Angie. He had a sort of far away look that would come across his face and she didn't even wonder if he felt guilty about a decision he'd made so long ago. She couldn't help guilty for the role she had played in the whole saga that had unfolded.

"So, who are you anyway?"Angie asked.

"I'm your,um…."

"She's your cousin,"Caroline piped in.

"I don't have any cousins?"the girl replied suspiciously.

"Of course you do. Remember your cousins who live in New York."

"You mean uncle Keith's kids."

"These are your aunt lily's kids."

"I've never heard of her,"Angie said as her mother smoothed her head. Serena cringed as she watched Caroline lie to the young girl. She felt like she was transported back in time, to the numerous lies her mother had told her over the years. Why did people always do this? Why couldn't they just tell their kids the truths. One of the things she respected about Rufus was the fact that he was so honest with his kids. Dan had such an open relationship with his father. It wasn't shrouded in lies. Once the Angie had left go back outside, Serena decided to speak up.

"Don't do that to her. You can't just lie to her like that. She's going to find out eventually and when she does she's going to blame you. Trust me I know."

Caroline stood up and said, "I think you should leave."

Dan put his arm around Serena and said, "Caroline, I'm sorry if we offended you, but Serena has spent a long time looking her father. But, this isn't just about her. Angie is her family too and she has a right to know them."

Once they had left the house, Serena lost what was left of her composure and Dan held her close as she wept on his shoulder. His heart bled for her and he just wanted to protect her from all the pain that life had caused her, but he knew there was nothing she could, but to hold him. He wanted to hurt her father and he hated Lily more than he could dislike another human being, but he knew anger would do nothing to make Serena feel better, so he just played it by ear. "Shh, it's going to be okay. I'm here. I'll always be here."

"I don't want to go home yet,"she said through her tears.

"Then we'll stay,"he said.

Dan and Serena walked around Savannah heading in no direction in particular. They watched as families walked by and couples like them. Local musicians played a unique blend of jazz in middle of its most active area. They allowed themselves to be carried away for awhile forgetting their problems. They went to a local bistro and had themselves some traditional southern food. It was like a little taste of what they imagined New Orleans would be like. Serena laughed for the first time in awhile.

"You okay?"

"It's hard. I just want to see him, confront him."

"I understand. Anyways, I have an idea. I booked us at another hotel. You're going to love it."

"ooh really."

"We're Savannah, we might as well fully enjoy it before we have to go back home," he said. He avoided saying what they both knew was true. Before they both dealt with what they were, but she was so confused and mixed up. The last thing she needed was for him to muddle her emotions even further. So, Savannah was all they had for now and that made him sad. He would go back and deal with Vanessa and she had Nate to contend with and whatever was meant to be would work itself out in the end. They finished off their food and went to their hotel and packed their bags.

It took Dan a little over 20 minutes to get his stuff ready, but over an hour later he was still waiting on Serena.

"What's taking so long?"

"I brought a lot of stuff?"

"Why?"

Serena came out and looked at him impatiently. "Nevermind," he said. He should have known she would over pack. So, he got out his paper back and read while she got ready. A little while later they got out of the cab that pulled up to a large beach house facing the ocean. Serena looked out at the sight and then back at Dan. She pointed at him and said, "you… are … wonderful,"before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. She got out of the car excitedly and ran along the sand to the shore. Serena kicked off her shoes and pulled up the bottom of her jeans and started skidding in and out of the water. Dan watched her from a distance and had the bellhop take their stuff to their room. He walked along the sand and sat down on the beach watching her. She ran up to him and said, "How did you know this was exactly what I needed?"

"I know you."

She jumped into his arms and smothered him in kisses. He chuckled and grabbed on to her waist. "I love you,"she whispered. Dan smiled at her "I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** This story is starting to just reach its climax. The heart of this story takes place while DS are a couple.

Chapter 6: I went and let you blow my mind

_**Savannah, Georgia**_

"I love you too,"Dan said. Serena looked at him and smiled brightly. She had just impulsively thrown herself into his arms and said the one thing that she'd been holding inside of herself for far too long. It wasn't awkward, but natural. Rather than making a big deal of it, Dan simply said what he felt. This was a turning point for the two of them. He drew circles on her lower back just above the waist-band of her jeans. They lay there on the beach in each others arms like that they had discovered the secret of the universe. "I think we should talk,"Dan said.

"About?"Serena asked.

"What we both just admitted."

"Do we have to over think it. Can't we just enjoy the moment."

"We can't keep avoiding this conversation. I don't want to avoid it. What I said I meant it and I need to know if you really meant it or not?"Dan said in a jumble. Serena touched his face with her palm and said, "I meant it."

"So, where does that leave us? What about Nate and Vanessa?"Dan asked. He needed to know that this feeling would last. The idea of losing her again scared him beyond belief. He wanted her and he'd stop at nothing to convince her that they should be together.

"I love you, Dan. As for Nate, how can I be with him when I know I want you back," she said matter-of-factly. Dan pulled her even closer and flipped her over so that he was hovering above her. He looked at her softly before planting a sweet kiss on her lips. Serena smiled and pulled him closer. They lay there in the sand kissing like they were the only two people in the world for what seemed like an eternity before dusting themselves off. Dan held out his hand and helped her up and they held hands as they made their way up to their room. Serena looked at the large room with it's canopy bed and French doors that opened to a verenda that over looked the beach. She looked back at Dan and said, "This is amazing. It's like a dream."

"No, you're the dream," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He pulled her hair aside and nuzzled her neck. Serena leaned into him and let the feel of his lips carry her away. For once her problems did not exist. She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around him as he picked her up gently and carried her to the large bed. He laid her down gently and kissed her gingerly as he slowly removed her clothing. Serena tugged off his clothes and they made love slowly and sweetly as if it were the first time.

_**New York, New Years Eve**_

When Serena arrived home Nate was waiting for her. He sat in the living room looking at her with worry. Nate walked up to her and kissed her and she froze instantly. "Are you okay? I've been trying to reach you for days."

"I had to take a trip."

"Where were you?"

"Savannah."

"what was in Savannah?"

"Nate, I'm not really in the mood to talk. Can we do this another time?"

He placed his hands in his pockets and said, "I was just worried about you and I hadn't heard from you in days. Anyways, Chuck is having a new years party. Do you think you'll be up for it?"

"Um I guess. Let me get some rest and I'll see you tonight," she said. Serena didn't think this was the way to end their relationship. She wanted to sit him down and tell him they were over. But, with the way he was looking at her, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She unpacked and called Dan. "I just saw Nate?"

"And?"

"I didn't have the heart to do it right there."

"But, you have to talk to him eventually,"Dan said.

"Yeah, I know. I'll do it just before Chucks party. You're coming right?"

"Chuck? As in Chuck Bass? Ugh, I don't know,"Dan replied.

"Please, I need you there. I can't do this alone. Have you seen Vanessa yet?"

"No, I was gonna call her now."

"Invite her to the party. You can tell her afterwards."

"Won't that be, um, awkward."

"No, it will be fine. Dan?"

"Yes?"He answered.

"I love you," she said softly. He smiled to himself and said, "I love you too. Don't worry it's going to be fine."

When Dan hung up the phone he heard a knock on the door. He opened it and found a very upset Vanessa standing before him. "Hi."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I had to take care of some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"I can't really tell you?"he said firmly.

"Can't or won't?"

"Vanessa, I don't want to fight. Chuck's having a party. We should go."

She looked at him suspiciously. Dan rarely liked to do UES things since they got together and he was suddenly dragging her to a party hosted by Chuck Bass. "What?"

"You heard me. It's a party. Everyone will be there,"he said as he kissed her on the cheek. Vanessa smiled tightly at him and left. She had a strange feeling like he was slipping away and she wasn't sure exactly when it had happened.

Nate showed up at the penthouse just before eight. Serena was still putting on her earrings when he arrived. He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled at him. "Before we go, we need to talk."

"Okay,"Nate said cautiously.

Serena motioned for him to take a seat and she sat down beside him. She didn't know how to start this conversation, but she knew she had to do it. "I don't think we should see each other after tonight?"

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think we should date anymore,"Serena replied softly.

"You're breaking up with me?"Nate asked.

"Yes."

Serena played with her fingers and she knew she had to tell him about Dan, but saying these sorts of things were always difficult. "I'm not in love with you."

Nate looked at her and it dawned on him. Her evasiveness about her trip and the sudden breakup talk. "Where were you? You were with another guy weren't you?"

"Yes, no. It's not what you think?"

"Then what is it exactly?"

"I don't think we should be together anymore Nate."

"Because you're in love with someone else?"

Serena was silent for a moment. "Who is he? Do I know him?"

She said nothing.

"Do I KNOW HIM SERENA?"

"Yes."

"who is it?"

"Nate please. It doesn't matter. This, us. We never should have happened. I'm sorry I've hurt you."

Nate grasped her wrists and said, "just tell me who it is?"

"It's Dan,"she said under her breath.

"Dan? Humphrey? Dan Humphrey?"

"Yes,"Serena said.

Nate felt like someone had just shot him right in the heart. He'd always feared that he'd lose her to him. He thought that their friendship would prevent Dan from ever crossing that line.

"I can't believe it. You cheated on me with my friend."

"I knew him first,"Serena said.

"I can't believe you're justifying this,"Nate said. "I have to go. I can't even look at you right now. You disgust me."

Serena showed up at Vitrola alone, feeling horrible. She hated herself for the way she had hurt Nate. He had every right to his anger, but his words stung her. She made her way through the crowd looking for anyone she recognized. She saw Dan with Vanessa hanging all over him and she was struck with a pang of jealousy that made her want to rush over there and claw her eyes out. She sighed. She spotted Nate and tried to talk to him.

"Nate, can we talk."

"Don't touch me. I don't know what I was thinking. You had an affair with my cousin. I knew you were a whore, but I thought it would be different with us, but you went behind my back. Don't speak to me,"Nate said with an unconcealed venom.

Serena felt like someone had punched her. She walked away from him and made a beeline for the bar. Dan had seen the angry look on Nate's face and the way Serena had cowered and walked away from him. He was worried about her. She was such a sensitive person. Serena hated to hurt anyone and he could tell she felt horribly by the way she had just walked off sadly. He finally spotted her sitting alone at the bar as all the party-goers bopped to the music. He sat down beside and her said, "you okay"

She lifted her vodka tonic and said, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," he said as he placed his hand on her chin and forced her to face him. Tears were brimming in her eyes and she had never looked so distraught. "Talk to me," he implored.

"I,I just don't know how it all went so wrong."

"What?"

"My life. He was so horrible Dan, maybe it's my fault, he's right we did go behind his back; he just doesn't know how far it went. Maybe he's right, I'm nothing but a whore."

Dan clenched his jaw and tried to resist the desire to storm up to him and punch him out. "You are not a whore. We'll figure this out. Anyways it's almost midnight; A new year, fresh start for us."

She looked at him and smiled through her tears. "It's about time for a new year because the last one sucked."

Dan ordered a drink from the bar and lifted his glass and said, "To a less sucky year and to us."

Serena clinked glasses with him and tried to forget the sadness that seemed to continually overwhelm her. They downed their drinks and she listened to his silly jokes and for the first time all day she felt like she could breathe easy. Dan stopped his story when he heard the beginning of auld lang syne coming thorough the speaker. "Happy New Year," he said as he pressed his lips to her cheek. Serena looked at him a beat before leaning in and kissing him on the lips, "Happy new year."

Dan smiled at her and kissed her back. They quickly got caught up in the moment, both of them forgetting where they were. Serena hands were playing with the curls at the back of his neck when the sound of a feminine screech broke them apart.

"What the fuck is going on here?"Vanessa demanded.

Dan looked guiltily at his hands. Nate stood behind her, staring daggers at both Serena and Dan.

"How long has this been going on?"Vanessa demanded. Dan walked over to Vanessa and said, "Calm down we need to talk."

"Talk? You want to talk? About what exactly? The fact that your tongue was rammed down your ex-girlfriend's throat when you are my boyfriend. Not her's, but mine." Dan started to get irritated where her sense of possession over him. "You don't own me."

"Are you really getting self-righteous with me?"she said scornfully. Dan sighed. This was not supposed to be how it went down. "I'm sorry Vanessa. I never wanted to hurt you, but this, us, we never should have happened. I thought I could make it work, but I was wrong. I, I don't love you,"he said with more truth than the occasion called for. He watched as his words registered and a single started to flow down her face. He hated that he was causing her pain, but keeping up this farce of a relationship would have been even bigger mistake. "do you still love her?"

Dan simply nodded his head and leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Goodbye V,"Dan said before walking away from his childhood friend. He knew that it was an end of something that had once meant a lot to him, but he knew he had to move on. Maybe they'd be able to friends again someday, but maybe this how it was always meant to be. He made his way through Vitrola searching for Serena and found her near the bar sipping on a dry martini. "You have another where that came from?"

"How did your talk with Vanessa go?"

"Ugly."

"You okay?"Serena asked as she set down her drink.

"I'm okay, it's just weird knowing I managed to fuckup a lifelong friendship so badly."

Serena swallowed wondering if he'd resent the choice that he'd made. "Are you sorry you did it?"

Dan looked at her intensely and said, "No. I love you and nothing is going to change that. Not our parent's ill-fated attempt at matrimony, not the pointless relationships, nothing. It's you and it always has been."

Serena squinted and said, "You're a cheeseball." Dan leaned over and whispered in her ear and said, "but, that's why you love me right?" She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "One of many reasons."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long delay and next chapter there will definitely be more DS and NJ. Sorry for the focus on DN.

**Chapter 7: Bromance**

The last remnants of winter were slowly fading away and the first signs of spring had arrived. New Yorkers donned smiles for the first time in months. Amongst those who wore a perpetual grin were Dan and Serena. They'd been together for nearly two months. Dan had yet to talk to either Vanessa or Nate. There was a virtual cold-war going on between himself and what he once considered his two best friends. He was walking along Fifth Avenue, his arm wrapped around Serena's waist as he held her shopping bags in the other. "Do you think they'll ever talk to me again?" he asked her.

"Just give it time Dan. They're upset."

"It's been two months. I think, I think I might have ruined both of my friendships,"he said solemnly.

Serena wriggled closer to him and said, "You have me." Dan smiled and kissed her and said, "That I do. I just sorta miss Nate."

"Nate? I thought this was more about Vanessa?"

"Don't get me wrong, she was my best friend, but it was kinda nice to have a guy to you know do guy stuff with."

"Aww that's cute. You miss your boyfriend," Serena teased.

"He isn't my boyfriend."

"Anymore," she said as she giggled and ran down the busy street. Dan chased after her as she made her way down a side street. When he finally caught up with her he started tickling her and said "Take it back."

"What?"

"You know what?"

"It's not my fault that you love him more than you love me," she said as she broke into another fit of giggles. Dan held her to him and looked at her seriously. "Impossible," he said before kissing her right there in the middle of the city. Serena wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. She was happy to finally have him back and she didn't care who knew it.

In another part of the city, Jenny Humphrey was having coffee with Nate. She loved spending time with him and noticed that lately he had been calling her a lot. She didn't want to read to much into that, but a part of her had a feeling it had less to do with her and more to do with her brother. This cold war between them was silly. She knew her brother missed him, but didn't have the courage to make the first move. Nate on the other hand was hanging on to a sense bitterness because he was the losing party, what he didn't get was that the greater loss was Dan not Serena.

"So, when are you gonna stop freezing out my brother?"Jenny asked.

"What?"

"You heard me? You're freezing him out and its sort of pathetic. The two of you act like some old married couple. Get over it. If you want to be his friend then call him."

"Maybe I don't want to be?"Nate said.

"Yeah right. So, is that why you're moping around? Cause I don't buy that you're moping about Serena since you've dated what 2 girls since her?"

"It's not exactly dating?"

Jenny put her hand up and said, "Please spare me the details." Nate looked at her quizzically and said, "jealous?" Jenny rolled her eyes and said, "Please. I have better things to do than pine over the manwhore of manhattan. Anyways, you're getting away from the topic. When are you going to talk to my brother again?"

"Manwhore of Manhattan? Don't you think you're exaggerating just a tad," Nate said.

She snapped her fingers and said, "Focus Nate. We're talking about Dan and your friendship with him."

"Maybe I don't want a freindhip with him."

She raised and eyebrow at him

"Okay, well maybe I'm still mad."

Jenny pursed her lips, "Tomorrow is his birthday and he's having a party. Just come. Break the ice." Nate knew she was right, but he was still mad at him. It wasn't that he was still in love with Serena; he was just hurt that Dan had gone behind his back like that. He thought they were friends and friends just didn't do that sort of thing.

"Baby steps," she said as she reached her hand across the table and squeezed his. Nate locked eyes with her and cleared his throat awkwardly. "We should go or we'll be late for that movie," Nate said as he dropped a few bills on the table and followed Jenny out. He tried to avert his eyes and ignore the weird sensations that coursed through his body every now and then. Her presence was unsettling him and he didn't really want to go there, not again.

Dan was not really a birthday person. He didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal about it. It's not like one could stop the aging process. Every year you got older, no amount of celebrating or lack thereof would prevent the clock from ticking bye. When he was a kid birthdays were fun, but he it was a short-lived joy much like his t-ball phase. Dan preferred to not make a big deal out of birthdays. He liked the quiet celebrations so much better. He hated being the center of attention and parties often made him feel awkward and ill-at-ease. When he first started dating Serena, she wanted to throw him this big party, but he insisted that all he wanted was to hang out with her and deal with the ritual humiliation his father doled out.. Birthdays were Jenny's thing. She loved them, loved the attention, but for Dan it was just another day. This year he decided to let Serena throw him a party. He'd promised himself that he would try new things, stop holding back and just enjoy life. It made her happy to do this and it might actually be fun. Dan and Serena were just coming back from his birthday brunch at the penthouse. Serena placed her purse on the counter and hoisted herself and grabbed on to a piece of his shirt and pulled him into her.

"What was that for?"he said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him until he couldn't think straight. "Happy birthday,"she said before releasing him and jumping off the counter.

"Um, what you can't just tease a guy and leave like that," Dan whined.

Serena slowly undid the buttons on her top as she headed towards his bedroom. She turned to face him and threw her top at him. Dan smiled as he caught it. "Are you coming?" she asked.

He followed her into the room and grabbed her by the waist and pushed her against the door frame and trailed his hand from her collar bone down to her waist which sent shivers up her spine. Serena pulled him closer until she could feel his breath on her skin. She reaches for his belt buckle and quickly undoes it and pulls them down. Dan steps out of them and quickly returns to nuzzling her neck. He moves excruciatingly slow. What was supposed to be a fun present for him as turned into a gift for her. He turns her and she quickly sank to her knees. Dan bumped his head on the door when he felt her lips make contact with his cock. She looked up at him and smirked and before he knew it he'd lost complete control. They had made love twice before they even made it to his bed. Afterwards, Dan lay on his bed with a contented smile on his face and Serena in his arms.

"Now, that's what I call a birthday present."

"Well there's more where that came from, after the party."

"Ugh, can't we like tell everyone not to come."

"You can't disinvite people from a birthday party. It's rude."

"Serena parties aren't really my thing."

"I know, but you'll have fun. Trust me." Serena slipped on a tshirt and went into the other room and dug through her purse until she found her cell. "Hey, is he coming?"

"It was like pulling teeth, but he's coming."

"You're the greatest Jenny. Thanks."

"No problem. I'm sick of the two of them sulking anyway,"she said before hanging up. Things were going just according to plan. Normally, she wouldn't force dan to do something he had no interest in, but she needed an excuse to get these two idiots in a room together and Nate could never refuse a good party.

Serena was busy making sure that caterers had set everything up when Dan walked out of his room and he looked gorgeous. She walked over to him and hugged him. "You look great."

Dan skimmed over her short black dress that clung in all the right places and said, "you look great too." He made a beeline for the food and started to nibble on some vegetables when Serena gave him a stern look.

"What?"

"Wait till everyone gets here."

"But, I'm hungry," he said. Serena rolled her eyes and said, "You're always hungry."

Dan eyed her and swung her around and wrapped his arms about her waist. He nipped at her neck and said, "I thought that's what you liked about me."

"amongst other things,"she said. He pulled down the strap of her dress and kiss along her shoulder. Serena closed her eyes and the sound of Blair's voice snapped them both out of their revery. "Doesn't anyone use locks? It's Brooklyn not Connecticut."

"Don't you knock,"Dan mumbled.

"Why bother when the door is open"

Chuck winked at Dan which made him grimace. "Humphrey, I see you're basking in your exhibitionist habits again."

"So where are all the people,"Blair said as she picked at a carrot and then put it right back in place.

"They'll be here in a bit."

Dan nodded and smiled at Blair and Chuck as they engaged in their usual attempt at being civil, but they were incapable of masking their disgust with being in Brooklyn hanging with the plebecites. Eventually some of his classmates and a few people he knew from his writers group arrived. Dan was piling food on his plate when a familiar voice came up to him.

"Hey there birthday boy,"a female voice uttered.

Dan nearly jumped out of his seat. "Willa? What,ugh, what are you doing here?"

"The cute blonde invited me"

"Oh God, I, I have to go,"Dan said. He walked over to where Blair was talking to Serena. "You invited Willa?"

"Yeah, I ran into her when I was inviting the people from your writers group. She's really sweet."

"Sweet is not the word I would use to describe her,"he said. Serena kept looking around and noticed that he wasn't really talking to any of these people, but that wasn't the point. She looked at her watch and took out her phone and texted Jenny. But, just after she sent the text she walked in with Nate in tow. Serena pushed Dan towards him and said, "go talk to him. He came all the way here to see you."

Blair was eying Serena the entire time. "What are you up to? You know Humphrey hates parties."

"I just wanted neutral ground."

"For what world war 3? Or do you enjoy inviting people he doesn't like and girls who want to fuck him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Willa? Really? She's been trying to get into his pants since the first week of school."

"The mousy redhead?"

"It's always the ones who have no chance that we have to watch out for?"

"I'm not worried. I trust Dan."

Blair rolled her eyes. "What are you trying to achieve here?"

"Dan misses Nate,"Serena said.

Blair held up her hand and said, "Let me get this straight you're trying to repair a friendship between your boyfriend and his ex, I mean your ex."

"Yes. I know it sounds weird, but Dan misses his friendship with him and I think Nate does too."

Blair took a big gulp from her martini. "This is going to be an interesting night."

Meanwhile Dan and Nate were looking at each other awkwardly in another part of the room. "Glad you could come,"Dan said in an attempt to break the ice. Nate looked around and started laughing. "Dude this party sucks."

"I know."

"You realize this is a set up right?"

"Yeah, I figured she was up to something," Dan said. "She invited Willa."

"Oh man!"Nate replied. Dan and Nate headed towards the kitchen. "So, um I'm sorry,"they both said simultaneously.

"I just feel bad about how everything went down. I didn't plan it,"Dan said.

"I know, I was just being an ass."

"So, we cool?"Dan asked.

"We're cool," Nate said as he held out his hand and Dan shook it awkwardly before Nate pulled him into one of those man hugs he was known for.

Serena pulled off her earrings and placed them on top of Dan's dresser and was taking off her shoes as she continued to gripe about willa. "I just can't believe that girl. She actually touched your butt and right in front of me."

"She's crazy,"Dan replied.

"I'm glad you got to talk to Nate,"Serena said. Dan was staring at her with a knowing look on his face. "Wasn't that the whole point?"

"Was I that obvious?"

Dan nodded his head and got up. "I have a surprise for you?"

"Ooh surprises. I love surprises,"serena cooed.

He opened his top drawer and said, "this is for you?" She looked at him and said, "really? A drawer?"

Dan laughed and began emptying out his entire dresser. "Take it, it's all yours."

Serena hugged him tightly and said, "So is this your way of asking me to move in?"

TBC….


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I'm sorry for not updating in so long. The next chapter will definitely be up by next Sunday at the latest. I also plan on updating** Only You** this week. This chapter is on the short side because it's mostly a filler chapter. I hope you like the surprises I have coming your way.

**Last time on "Love me now"**

"Are you asking me to move in?"

"Do you want to..?"Dan asked.

**Chapter 8: Can't take my eyes off you…**

Dan looked at Serena earnestly and reached for her hand. "I mean is it really such a bad idea?" Serena just sat there in shock. She couldn't believe he was asking her to move in. "That's a really big step? Are you ready for that?"

He grabbed her by the waist and sat her on his lap. "Yes, I'm ready for that. I want to be with you I'm ready for whatever that means."

"You know I have a lot of clothes, and I snore," Serena said playfully as she bumped noses with him. "I'm well aware of your love of fashion and I've heard you snore."

She punched him on the arm lightly and said, "You snore too."

"Very loudly," he said before kissing her eagerly. He fell back on the bed with Serena straddling him. She plied his face with kisses and all he could was smile. He was happy, truly happy for the first time in a while. He pushed the hair from her face and stared into her eyes. They were so blue that he could get lost in them. He kissed the spot just behind her ear which made her giggle. He ran his hand over her back and reached up to pull down the strap of her negligee. "I love that you wear the skimpiest things to bed."

Serena smiled, "you know I don't just wear them for you?"

Dan pressed his hand on his heart and pouted. "You wound me." Serena smiled and pushes him down on the mattress and straddles him. "I'll buy a special one just for you," she says before kissing him thoroughly. She smiles through the kiss, something only Dan can illicit from her. She hasn't felt this happy, this free in a long time. She missed this. He reaches up and brushes the hair from her face as his hands explore her body. He lifts up the silky material of her negligee so that it's bunched at her hips. He kisses her gently, his eyes searching hers as his hands continue their slow languid exploration. His fingertips caress the soft skin of her inner and thigh and Serena sighs a little. He flips her over so that he is hovering over her. Dan pushes up her negligee further up her body so that he exposes a part of her breast. He kisses her tummy, looking up every now and then to see the reaction on her face. He blows on her tummy, his hot breath leaving goose bumps on her skin. Serena starts to squirm a little. She's impatient to feel him inside of her. "Hurry," she says.

Dan smiles up at her. He loves that he can drive her wild so he continues to drive her over the edge as his tongue glides along the inside of her thigh. She sighs as her head sinks back into the pillows. Soon she is thrashing from side to side, fisting the sheets as he uses his tongues to do inexplicable things to her body. "I need you, I want you, Now!"she gasps. Dan peels off his clothes and grants her request. He sinks into her in one fluid moment and soon they are creating a rhythm all their own. Her legs wrap around his waste and they share a gently kiss as they get swept up in the sea of desires. Dan whispers, "I love you," before collapsing on his side. He's spent and the happiest he's been in a long time. He pulls her to him and says, "I don't ever want this to end, never again."

She looks up at him curiously. She flips over so that she's lying on top of him. "Never again,"she says before kissing him gently.

Dan and Serena go to the Penthouse to gather her thins the next morning. It takes them hours to put all of her stuff into boxes. Srena is packing away her jewelry when she realized that she still had a box of old clothes stored in her mother's room. Dan can you get me a box from my mom's closet. It's not very big.

"Sure. What am I looking for?"

"Just box of clothes."

Dan rolls his eyes and mutters, "of course."

He made his way down the hall and he went straight for the closet that Serena had mentioned. He reached up to pick it up when something came crashing to the floor. Letter after letter was scattered at his feet. Each one was addressed to Serena. He noticed that most of them were postmarked from here in the United States. A few of the letters were opened, but most of them remained unopened. Dan picked them up and placed them all back in it's box. He carried them over to the other room. He placed the box on Serena's bed. "I think you should read these"

"What are they?"Serena asked.

"They're from your dad."

Serena looked at him in shock. "What do you mean they're from my father?"

"There are tons of letters, all addressed to you from Dr. Van Der Woodsen. I think you should read them."

She peered in the box and saw what must have been hundreds of letters. "There are so many of them."

"I know. Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked. Serena reached for his hand and said, "No, stay."

Serena picked up a pack of letters and started to read them one by one as Dan sat there rubbing her back. They must have been there for hours when they heard the bedroom door creak open. Serena did not know what to make of what was in these letters. Years of emotion and heartache were contained in these little vanilla envelopes. All those years of searching and longing for something and it was there all along. She didn't know what to make of it. It was too much to take in at once.

"I need some air,"Serena said as she rushed out of the room. Dan ran after. He caught up with her in the hallway. He simply held her hand as they made their way downstairs and down the block. He didn't say word, he just held her hand. Eventually, she stopped and turned to face him with tears in her eyes. "I, I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything, not until you're ready,"he whispered into her ear as he pulled her into him. She gripped his shoulders and broke down. As he held her, a shadowy figure made his way past them.

The man took out his phone and called someone. "Vanessa, we need to talk?"

"Who are you?"Vanessa asked.

"It's Carter. Carter Baizen."

TBC….


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** I hope you like this chapter. The next one will be focused on Carter and Vanessa's revenge and various other plots.

_**Chapter 9: Baby, I'll carry you all the way you home**_

Vanessa stood in the doorway of the café waiting for Carter as the wind swept particles of rain her face. She wrapped her arms about her and wondered again why she had agreed to meet him. His call had taken her off guard, but he was persuasive and she thought it couldn't hurt to hear him out. But, he was late and she was shivering.

"What are you doing?" she chastised herself. She left her spot and started to make her way down the street when she bumped into a figure clad in a worn navy coat.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Leaving so soon?"

"Carter, you're late and I'm freezing."

"Trust me. You won't regret it," he promised as he pulled her back towards the café and ushered her to a booth in the corner. He waved down the waitress and ordered coffee for the both of them.

"Are you always this domineering?" she asked as she leered at him suspiciously. Carter simply smiled at her as he coldly assessed her. She reeked of desperation and that was exactly how he liked them.

"I like to take charge. Relax, we are on the same team."

"And what team is that?" Vanessa asked reluctantly. She didn't trust this guy. She knew very little about him, but what she did know wasn't good. He was a lothario and he tended to prey on vulnerable women. He had STAY AWAY written all over him, yet she couldn't help but find him appealing.

"You and I both want to put Serena and Dan in their place."

"I don't want to hurt Dan," she said matter-of-factly.

"But, I do and I'm sure you feel the same about Serena."

Serena and Blair walked through the furniture store and examined various mattresses. None of them seemed to meet Serena's standards. She wanted the perfect bed. Blair eyed her curiously and said, "This is the third store we've been in today."

"It has to be perfect," Serena explained. Normally, she would be the one sighing in frustration while Blair obsessed over some minute detail, but she needed this distraction. She tested out one final mattress by bouncing and rolling around on it. Blair looked down at her as if she'd lost her remaining brain cells.

"You're avoiding something. What did he do? If he cheated on you, I'm gonna run over to Brooklyn and kill him myself and you know how I detest blood," Blair said.

Serena sat up, blew the hair from her face and said, "he didn't do anything. I just, I have a lot on my mind." Blair sat down on the mattress next to her and held her hand out to Serena. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything."

"I found out that my father has been writing to me for years and I've been avoiding reading the letters."

Blair looked at her friend aghast. She wrapped her arm around her and simply held her. "Years? I don't understand how Lily could do this to you?"

"Neither do I. It's just another lie to add to all the others she has told me."

"Have you read them?" Blair asked.

Serena shook her head and said, "No, I haven't."

"Hence the need to redecorate Casa de Humphrey. Not that I blame you. That place is so, Brooklyn."

Serena giggled into Blair's shoulder. "You say that like it's some sort of disease," Serena replied in between giggles.

"It's Brooklyn," Blair replied matter-of-factly before breaking into a fit of laughter. When their laughter eventually subsided they both bounced on the bed a bit. "I think this the one," Serena said.

Meanwhile Jenny, Nate and Dan were clearing out her old room. She was putting what remained of her things in boxes. She'd left a few things behind last year including her bed her old dresser. But, they'd spent the last few hours packing it all away and loading them on to the moving van.

"Thanks for doing this. You didn't have to," Dan said as he smiled at his younger sister.

"It's no big deal. I like my room at the penthouse better anyway."

Dan bit his lip in guilt. He felt like he was kicking her out of her home, but it was her suggestion. "I don't feel right about this. It's your room. It's where you grew up."

Jenny hugged him tightly and said, "The loft is yours now. It's time for the rest of us to move on."

"When did you become some wise?" Dan asked as he playfully pushed her.

"While you were busy whoring your way through NYU," Jenny dead-panned.

Nate coughed uncomfortably in the background. He felt like he was intruding on a family moment. "Where do you want me to put this box?"

"Near the door with the others,"Jenny said. She watched as he left the room, her eyes lingering long enough for Dan to notice her checking him out.

"So you ever gonna tell him?"

Jenny blushed and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dan smirked. He recognized the game she was playing with herself. Self-denial was a powerful thing. He just wished both of them would wake-up and realize the feelings were mutual. Nate was constantly making up excuses to be around Jenny and she tried to play it off like were old friends when everyone knew that was not the case.

"Have you spoken to Vanessa lately?" Jenny asked in an effort to change the subject.

"I haven't heard from her for weeks. I can't say I blame her. I really fucked things up."

"You never should have dated her," Jenny said.

Dan shrugged. He knew she was right, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He had managed to mess things up so bad that he lost a friend in the process.

"It will work itself out, Dan. Don't worry," Jenny said as she hugged him one last time before heading outside to join Nate.

Later that evening, Dan came home and found their room covered in candles while Serena sat n the floor of what was once Jenny's room surrounded by opened envelopes. Her head was bent and looked like she had been crying. He rushed over and joined her on the floor. He reached out and wrapped her in his arm. "I'm here," he whispered into her hair.

Serena looked up at him and said, "How could she do this?"

"I don't know," he said as he kissed the top of her head. A part of him wanted to find Lily and rip into her, but he knew this was not his battle.

"What's with the candles? You know it's a fire hazard, right?" he quipped.

"I was planning a romantic evening for you, but I got sidetracked."

He smoothed the hair from her face and said, "You know you don't have to do anything. Just having you here is enough."

She looked up at him and said, "Well this place could use a woman's touch."

"Why do I have a feeling that you've already bought out half of Macy's."

Serena scrunched her nose up at him. "Sorry, Sak's."

"Try again," she giggled.

"Bloomingdale's?"

"Better, but I have so much to teach you." she said as she pushed him on to the floor and straddled him.

"I can't wait to learn."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the incredibly long delay in updating, but I will try to update this fic more often.

**Chapter 10: I want your love**

Vanessa picked up the phone and dialled a number she knew by heart. "Hey, before you hang up, I just wanted to apologize."

"I'm listening," a disgruntled Dan replied.

"I shouldn't have meddled like that, but I was hurt. Can we start again? I, I just want my friend back," she said through feigned tears.

Dan felt bad that she was so emotional. He did set all of this in motion by staying with her for so long. He should never have cheated on her. He knew he was partially responsible for this whole mess. "Don't cry," he whispered.

"I didn't mean to cry, I just miss you."

Dan sighed. "I miss our friendship too, but things can't just go back to the way they were."

"I know. How about we start with coffee?"

Dan agreed and hung up the phone feeling a weird mix of emotions. For some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being played.

Dan arrived at the café a few hours later. He slipped into the booth and tried to force a smile. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with this whole thing. She was his friend, so why was this so difficult.

"I'm glad that you came," Vanessa said as she kissed him on the cheek. Dan froze and put some space between them.

"Thanks," he said as he slid into the booth. She was acting strange. Vanessa had never been the sort to overdo the physical affection. She was snarky rather than sweet. She was up to something. He wasn't sure what it was, but he'd figure it out eventually.

"So, how have you been? What's going on with you?"

"I'm fine. School and other stuff,"he said as he sipped his coffee.

"You know you can talk about her," Vanessa said as she smiled at him brightly.

Dan glanced at her with suspicion, "isn't a little soon. I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing us in your face."

Vanessa reached across the table and touched his hand and said, "I guess I should have seen it coming. You've always been about her, but…"

'But, what?"

"Maybe you deserve someone is as much about you as you are about them."

Dan moved his hand away and said, "I see."

Vanessa knew she must have messed up because she could feel him slipping away from her again. She smiled at him again, "it's just how you feel."

Serena came up to their table with a hand on her hip. "Well what you feel is wrong. Come on Dan, we're leaving."

"Not yet, there is something I'd like to say to Vanessa,"he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"You brought her? I thought you were going to give our friendship another chance,"Vanessa squawked.

He leaned on the table and said, "Our friendship is over. I had a feeling you were up to something. All you wanted to do was to poison me against her and that's not what friends do. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I think we both know that we want different things. Goodbye Vanessa."

When Dan left the café, Serena was waiting for him, they walked down the street hand in hand.

A few minutes later, Carter slipped into the booth and said, "Well that was an abysmal failure."

She wiped the tears from her face and said, "it's over Carter. I'm never going to get him back."

"Never say never."

She glared at him in disbelief, "did you not just see what happened? He ended our friendship. I have no leverage left."

He took a sip of her coffee and said, "You give up far too easily. Rome was not toppled in a day. We just have to come up with a different plan."

"and what exactly is your plan."

"Nothing works like one of the seven sins," Carter said.

"lust?"

"Jealousy. Nothing works like the green-eyed monster."

Vanessa sat back with a grin on her face, "what do you have in mind?"

Jenny was sitting on her bed flipping through the latest issue of Vogue when Nate knocked on the door.

"Come in, I'm too lazy to open it."

He walked over to the bed and asked "What are you doing?"

"Just flipping through vogue and what passes for fashion these days."

Nate got that glazed look on his face and Jenny knew that was her cue to close the magazine. "So, what brings you over."

"Wanna hang out? I'm bored. Chuck is busy being well Chuck and Dan is busy with Serena."

"Sure, let me grab my coat and bag." Jenny looked at him a beat and asked, "you okay?"

"I'm fine. Come on let's go."

They walked through central park for over an hour. They didn't talk much and that was fine with Jenny. Sometimes she liked the quiet. She felt comfortable with Nate, but she couldn't help, but feel like something was bothering him.

"Are you sure you're okay. You've barely said anything since we left the penthouse,"Jenny said as she attempted to assess his mood.

"It's nothing. I don't know. It's just that I'm bored and I always thought that being with Serena would make everything click, but all she ever did was complicate my life. It's not that I'm looking for the drama, but it feels weird for things to be so…"

"quiet. I get it. I feel like that atleast once a day. Sometimes I just want to stir up some trouble, to shake the boredom, but it's not really worth it. I nearly ruined my relationship with Eric for a powertrip. I just don't wanna rock the boat."

"But, what's the alternative, total and utter boredom?"Nate asked.

"Maybe we should make are own excitement," Jenny suggested.

"What do you have in mind? "Nate asked eagerly?

"I don't know. It's New York, we're young. Let's go out. I don't know do something."

Later that day, Dan and Serena were sitting in the loft debating what to do for the weekend. They were both started to get sick of playing house and staying in just wasn't something they wanted to do.

"Let's go out,"Dan suggested.

"What do you want to do?"

"I know this guy whose having a party tonight. I haven't gone to any parties for months. You up for it?"

Serena clapped her hands in excitement. "Is it a hipster party?"she teased.

"Me? Why never?"he replied playing along with playful tone.

A few hours later they were standing in a dorm room full of boring intellectual wannabees bored out of their minds. "Um why did I ever like these people?"

"Because you're like their god. This is boring dan. I wanna have fun."

Dan grabbed her hand and they left the party without saying their goodbyes. The pair hailed a cab downtown and made their way to the club with the longest line.

"We're never gonna get in,"Dan said.

Serena took off her cardigan gave it to dan and fluffed up her hair. "Leave it to me."

He smiled as she charmed their way into the club. "You are such a tease,"he said as he kissed her thoroughly.

"and I'm all yours."

The sound of catcalls forced them to part reluctantly. They were headed to the bar when they caught sight of Nate and Jenny doing grinding against each other on the dance floor. Serena had to practically hold him back so he wouldn't pry the two of them apart.

"That, that's my sister."

"And? You're the one that told me they liked each other."

"But, he can't just do that to my…."

She looked at him firmly, "really? Just leave them alone. She's a big girl and Nate's a nice guy."

"I know, but she's still my baby sister."

"and that's why we're gonna go get a drink and enjoy ourselves and let them do whatever it is that they're gonna do."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **I'd like to thank everyone for their patience with this story. I know I take large breaks in between chapters. This story is starting to wind down. A special thanks to my beta Emma.

**Chapter 11: You and me, I don't want anything more…**

Dan was more than a little preoccupied by the knowledge that his friend had his hands all over his baby sister. He tried to stay out of Jenny's way, but he didn't want her getting tangled up with Nate because he knew how much she liked him. Nate had a tendency of hopping from relationship to relationship and the last thing he wanted was for Jenny to get hurt. He tried not to look over at them, but it was taking a lot of effort to not intrude. His protective instincts were in high gear and only the sound of Serena's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I'm going to get us something to drink and you are going to stay right where you are. Do not go over to them, Humphrey."

Serena brought a couple of drinks over to their table and said, "This should take your mind off things."

He looked up at her and said, "Thanks. I just, I'm really worried for her."

"It's just Nate. He's a nice guy," Serena said.

Dan simply took a swig from his beer in response. He didn't want to say something that would upset Serena since she was Nate's last girlfriend.

"Why are you so upset?"

Dan sighed and said, "I'm worried he's going to break her heart. Nate's a good guy, but Jenny, she's a lot more fragile than she looks and she's wanted Nate for a really long time. I'm just not sure he understands that."

"You can't live her life for her, Dan. She's going to experience heartbreak. It's part of growing up. I mean look at what we've put each other through. Sometimes you've got to let your heart break a little."

"I know that you're right. It's not my business. It's just that she's my baby sister."

Serena reached for his hand. "I know it's hard for you to let go and it's a big part of why I love you. You are a big softie. Now, we came here to have fun, so drink up."

Meanwhile, Nate and Jenny were enjoying themselves on the dance floor when Jenny noticed her brother across the room. He was glaring over at them and she simply shook her head. She pulled him across the dance floor.

"What's going on? Where are we going?" a flustered Nate asked.

"We're leaving," Jenny insisted.

A bewildered Nate followed outside. He could tell that she was upset about something. He reached for her hand and said, "Talk to me."

"I can't believe him. He treats me like I'm five," she fumed.

"What are you talking about?" Nate asked.

"Dan, he was staring at us. How'd he know we were here?"

"Dan was in the club?" a confused Nate repeated. There was a part of him that knew he had some explaining to do.

"Hey, we weren't doing anything wrong. We were just having fun. If it's that important to you we can go somewhere else," he said as he rubbed her arms.

She looked at him tenderly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Come on, I know the perfect place."

About half an hour later, they were sitting in a diner in Lower Manhattan. They slid into a booth and each of them ordered a sundae.

"This was not what I expected." Jenny said.

"I'm full of surprises," he replied.

Dan and Serena rushed through the door, and as soon as they were inside their hands were all over each other. He pushed her up against the cold metal of the loft door as her legs snaked around his waist. His lips kissed a trail along her neck which sent a shiver down her spine. Serena attempted to push his sweater off his skin, but she was having trouble, "Off. Take the sweater off."

He carried her over to the kitchen and placed her on the counter as he quickly removed his shirt and pants as Serena removed her tank top. She was about to remove her skirt when Dan shook his head, "Keep it on." She gave him a half-smile and wagged her finger at him. She ran her hands through his hair. "Your hair is getting a little long."

"Shh," he said as he captured her lips. He grabbed her by the hips and pushed her towards the edge of the counter. Dan ran his fingers under her skirt as she ran her hands through his curls. The feel of her fingernails against his scalp undid him just a little bit. Serena sighed as his hands slid between her panties and deftly caressed her folds. She bit his lip when he inserted a finger inside of her. Serena threw her head back and she could feel the beginning of an orgasm working its way through her limbs. She was interrupted from her reverie when she felt him remove his hands. "Forget about the phone. I want you."

Dan kissed her and said, "You have no patience."

She grabbed him by the chin, "Get back to work."

"Someone's demanding."

He picked her up and swung her around his arms. "What are you doing?" she giggled. He walked them over to their bedroom and placed her on the bed. He reached under skirt and pulled off her panties. She looked up at him with a combination of lust and adoration that made him feel like he was on top of the world. Serena grabbed his hips and pulled off his boxers. "That's better," she whispered.

She flipped him over and straddled him. "Is this what you had in mind?"

"You know me so well," Dan remarked. Serena simply smiled and held on to his shoulders tightly as he entered her. They moved together as if it were always designed to be just the two of them. Their bodies understood each other in a ways that were inexplicable. Serena laid her head on his and he ran a finger down her back as he kissed her sweetly. She increased her speed and before either of the m realized it, they were both spent.

Afterwards, the two lovers lay entangled in each other's arms. Serena's head lay on his chest as he ran his fingers through her long blond locks, "What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I'm thinking, I'm the luckiest guy on earth."

"I'm pretty lucky myself."

"No, I'm serious. What we have together, it's everything to me."

She beamed at him. "You are the sweetest. I love you and what we have? It's everything. You keep me sane."

Nate and Jenny were in a diner on the Lower East Side. They both had partially eaten burgers in front of them and Jenny was grinning from ear to ear. "I can't believe Nate Archibald likes to eat in a diner."

"I come here at least once or twice a week," he replied. Jenny made face. "What, I'm a man of the people."

She simply rolled her eyes and took another bite of her burger.

"What you don't believe me?" he asked with mock surprise.

"I didn't say anything," she replied in between bites. Nate took a french fry and said, "It's all over your face."

Jenny laughed and they spent the rest of the night laughing jovially. A few hours later, Nate checked his watch and realized how late it was. "We should get going?"

"Yeah, but I kinda want to stay here forever."

Nate got up and reached for her hand. "Me too, but the waitress is giving us a death glare." Jenny took his hand and basked in the warmth of his touch. She didn't want this night to end, because it was magical. Once the morning came, reality will settle in and she'd return to be his best friend's little sister. She was still upset with her brother and she had a few choice words planned for him, but for now she wanted to bask in the moment. The way he was looking at her made her feel happier than anything she could remember. She'd wanted Nate for so long. She couldn't remember a time when she didn't feel that way about him.

They walked down the city streets, both of them avoiding the inevitable. Nate stopped and turned to face her. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face as she looked up at him with those blue eyes of hers. He smiled that perfect smile before placing a gentle kiss to her lips. Jenny felt like the world was spinning.

'_This isn't happening,_' she thought to herself. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss. They stood there in the middle of the street kissing passionately. Nate eventually put her in cab and promised to call her in the morning. Jenny laid her head against the window and watched the city landscape as she headed home.

Serena rubbed the sleep from eyes as the sun streamed through the window. She watched Dan sleeping and smiled to herself. He was so peaceful when he slept. She liked to outline his face with her fingerprints until he eventually woke, but she decided to leave him alone. Serena got out of bed and slipped into her robe. She wandered into the kitchen and prepared a pot of coffee. She was settling down with a mug when she felt a pair of hands snake around her waist. She leaned into Dan's sturdy frame and said, "Morning."

"That smells good," he whispered as he nibbled on her ear. She handed him her mug, but Dan placed it on the counter, "I wasn't talking about the coffee."

He turned around and picked her up and placed her on the island. He kissed her passionately as his hands roamed her sides, "Now that's what I call a morning greeting."

They were still caught up in their moment when they heard the doorbell ring. "It's a little early. I wonder who it is." Serena said.

She opened the door and was shocked at the person standing before her.

"Daddy?"

"Hey sweetie. I tried calling, but you didn't pick up."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **First apologies for the delay. I had trouble with inspiration. Apologies for the brevity of this chapter. There are a few more to go and this one is a wrap. But, I'll be working on _Mess I made_ and it's sequel :)

**Chapter 12: Daddy Dearest**

Serena's heart was pounding feverishly as she stood there staring at the one person she thought she'd never see again. All these years of searching, hoping and he was standing before her.

"Are you going to let me in?"asked William Van Der Woodsen.

Serena blinked and put on her game face. "Of course. I just wasn't expecting you."

William walked past his daughter and found himself staring into a pair of wary brown eyes. He assumed this was the boyfriend, but there was something oddly familiar about him.

"You must be the boyfriend."

Dan wrapped his arm around Serena's shoulder and said, "The name's Dan. Dan Humphrey."

"Humphrey? Why does that name ring a bell," William said. The kid obviously already had it for him. It was in his body language. At least he knew that his baby girl had people in her life that cared for her.

"Mom is married to his Dad. It's a long story," she said as she disentangled herself from Dan's arms. She looked up at him and said, "I'm glad you're here."

Dan went into the bedroom to allow them some privacy. As much as he wanted to be here for her, he knew this was something she needed to handle on her own. So, he got dressed and headed over to visit his dad.

Meanwhile, Serena smiled awkwardly at her father. She didn't know what to say or what she was feeling. This was the moment that she'd been waiting for, but somehow the words wouldn't come to her.

"You look just like your mother."

"That's what everyone says," Serena said politely. It was killing her that she didn't have the nerve to yell and scream and ask him why he didn't try harder?

"Why?" She finally croaked out.

William looked at her in confusion and asked, "Why what?"

"Why didn't you try harder?" She said as a single tear fell down her face. Serena wiped it away and stood up, but she couldn't look at him. It was too painful. She felt his hand on her shoulder.

"I should have. I was a coward. We were very young when we had the two of you. I thought giving you space was for the best. I started writing you hoping you'd come around, but you never did."

Serena turned around to face her father. "I never got the letters. She hid them. I found them in her closet a few months ago."

William hung his head in shame. He knew that she was right. He was too afraid of shaking up his own life to reach out to his two elder children."I'm sorry. There's really nothing else I can say." William reached for his daughter and held her in his arms as she cried.

Carter leaned back on Vanessa's bed in her cramped dorm room. She was working away on her laptop. He couldn't help, but check out her forms. She was pretty in that sort of bohemian way.

He patted the bed and said, "Come to bed."

She turned around and said, "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Again."

He made his way across the small room like an alleycat and his lips were tantalizing her senses. She pushed him away and said, "Let me work."

"Why so serious? You're far too tense. I can think of several ways to help you relax," He said with a smirk.

She turned and faced him. "I need to get this done, and we're supposed to be finding away to get our exes back."

"I'm bored," Carter said as he traced his index finger along her neck.

"You're a petulant child. If you're good, I'll reward you. Now, shut up and let me do this."

"Demanding. I like that in a woman," He said with a smirk on his face.

Dan walked into the Penthouse and grabbed a plate and started piling on enough food to feed a small army.

"Still a pig, I see. Doesn't Serena feed you?" Jenny said as she served herself.

"She feeds me," He said with a smile.

"I'm not sure I want to know what you mean by that."J enny replied as she sat at the table.

Dan took a seat next to her. He felt bad about his neanderthal act from last night, but he didn't know how to apologize to his little sister. As much as he knew that Nate liked her, it was just weird seeing his baby sister like that.

"About last night, I'm sorry."

"You should be. That was embarrassing," Jenny said.

"It's just I'm not used to seeing my sister grinding up against some guy."

"He wasn't some guy. He's Nate."

Dan took another mouthful. He gave her look that spoke volumes. Jenny patted his hand and said, "You can't protect me from everything. I really like him and he likes me too."

"I know. It's just weird."

Jenny reached for the strawberry on his plate, but Dan smacked her hand away. "You're so greedy."

"You know how I get about food," Dan said as he ruffled her hair. Rufus and Lily walked in and joined them at the table. "Where's Serena?" Lily asked.

"Um, she's busy," Dan said as he continued to stuff his mouth. Rufus looked at him suspiciously.

"You're a bad liar, Dan. What's going on, son?" Rufus asked.

Dan put his fork down. He didn't know whether he should tell them or not. It really wasn't his place. This was something Serena needed to discuss with her mother.

"She's with her father. He dropped by."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the delay in updating. Even if it takes me time, this story will be completed.

Rufus looked at his son with shock. His heart was beating fast and he could feel the clamminess of his hands. This was not happening. The spectre of William was something that used to hang over his relationship with Lily, but the last thing he wanted or needed was to come face-to-face with his old foe. He looked over at his son, who didn't seem phased by the matter at all. He was busy stuffing his mouth, but for once his casual demeanor was bothering him.

"What do you mean she's spending the day with her father?"

"William showed up at the loft this morning."? Dan said between bites.

"He, he did? I see."

Dan looked up at his father impatiently. He loved him, but the man that he'd turned into was not someone he was proud of.

'Is that what's going to happen to me?' Dan thought to himself. The last thing he wanted to become was a man living in fear. Afraid to stand up for himself, afraid to be his own man, and afraid of the past. He wanted to tell his father to stop being such a coward, but as usual, he held his tongue.

"I should go. I'm supposed to meet Serena back at the apartment," Dan said as he got up from his seat. Rufus looked at him warily. He recognized that pensive look on his face. "What's wrong, Dan?"

"Nothing."

"No, it's not nothing. I know that look. Just spit it out."

Dan clenched his jaw and debated saying what was on his mind. The truth was bound to hurt him and as little as he respected his father, he loved him more. "It's nothing, I'm just worried about Serena. This whole thing with her dad has sort of turned her world upside down."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just been a lot for her to take in. Lily hiding the letters from her really through her for a loop. Finding out about Angie didn't help either."

Rufus looked at him in confusion. "Angie? Whose Angie?"

"Serena's little sister."

A few days later, Nate was lying in bed with Jenny in his arms. It had been a long time since he'd felt this happy. Jenny had this way of making him feel at ease and all he wanted to do was take care of her. She lay with her head on his chest. "What are you thinking?" Jenny asked.

"I'm thinking about how everything is just about perfect right now."

She smiled that lopsided smile of hers and said, "Yeah, things are going great for the first time in I don't know how long."

"I'm glad that we're doing this. Me and you."

"Me too. I've wanted this for so long that it doesn't seem real."

Nate ran his hands through her long hair and said, "It's real. So, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know. I'm up for anything," she said as she climbed out of bed and pulled on her boots. Nate watched as she pulled on her jacket and ran a brush through her hair. She was so effortlessly beautiful. Jenny didn't need much make-up although she insisted on caking on enough eyeliner to make Marilyn Manson jealous. She didn't need much. Jenny was a girl who required little artifice.

"Why do you put so much eye-make up on?"

She looked at him warily and said, "You sound like my brother"

"You don't need it."

She smiled down at him and kissed him. "You're sweet, but I like it. It's just part of my look."

Their conversation was cut short by Chuck. "Sorry to interrupt you love birds, but Baizen wants you."

"What the hell does he want?" Nate replied with disdain. Carter was his least favorite person and the last thing he wanted to do was talk to him.

"I don't know, but he's not budging. The sooner you talk to him, the sooner he gets the hell out of here," Chuck said as he leered at Jenny suggestively.

"Stop hitting on my girlfriend, Chuck."

Chuck laughed out loud and said, "Just enjoying the view."

"Well go enjoy another view. What Blair still isn't speaking to you?"

"No, not a word. She's freezing me out again," Chuck replied as he leaned against the wall.

Nate rolled his eyes and went to go talk to Carter in the living room. He watched from a far as Carter quietly paced back and forth. "Carter Baizen nervous. I think hell just froze over."

"I'm not nervous, just impatient. You used to date Abrams?"

Nate's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Abrams? Vanessa?"

"Yes, Vanessa. She's a hard one to read"

Nate tried to contain his laughter. "Let me get this straight, you're asking for advice about Vanessa not Serena, but Vanessa."

"If I wanted advice about Serena, I'd be talking to Humphrey not you," Carter retorted.

"Touché. What do you want to know?"

Carter sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Anything. I can't seem to get her to soften up."

"Be honest. She hates bullshit. Just be straight with her and that will get you further than any game playing ever could."

Carter looked at him suspiciously. Vanessa seemed perfectly willing to play games in order to get Humphrey back in her bed, but maybe Nate had a point. He liked her. She was a spitfire. Vanessa kept him on his toes. No other girl managed to capture his interest on this level. She was fascinating. The girls he usually dated were either dumb as soup or privileged rich girls who had the world at their feet. Vanessa was neither of these things. She was motivated, beautiful and smart.

"Honesty? Do you know who you're talking to?" Carter remarked.

"Give it shot. Anyways, I have to go."

Nate left with Jenny. Once outside she finally asked, "So, Carter likes Vanessa?"

"Apparently. I guess anything is possible," Nate remarked. He still had trouble visualizing the two of them together. Carter loved to play games and had little to no work ethic. He just couldn't picture Vanessa being happy with a guy that stood for everything she hated.

"I don't think he's her type," Jenny said.

"He stands for everything she hates," Nate said.

"It's not that. She's been in love with my brother for so long, I can't imagine her actually moving on."

"Well, she's going to have to. He's never going to get over Serena and we all know how she feels about your brother," Nate said as he wrapped his arm around Jenny's shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm glad they finally got their shit together. It's nice to see him happy. Serena's the only girl that's ever really made him happy."

Serena was putting away some of Dan's laundry when she came across a black jewelry box. She picked it up and opened it. The ring was breathtaking. It was a simple square-cut and suited her perfectly. She didn't know how to react. Was she ready for this? They'd just gotten back together and they were still in college. She put the ring back where she found it and paced the apartment. She didn't know what to do, so she decided to go see Blair. A little over an hour later, she was sitting in Blair's room playing with the hem of her skirt as she listened to her friend lecture her on the stupidity of an early marriage.

"Has Humphrey lost his mind? Marriage? You guys have just gotten your shit together. There is no faster way to ruin a relationship than a marriage.

"But, I love him and we're already living together," Serena replied. While what Blair was saying made sense, she felt the need to defend Dan and their relationship.

"You're both still in college. Serena this is stupid with a capitol 'S'. I can't believe you're even debating saying yes."

Serena got up and said, "I'm not debating anything because he hasn't asked me. I came here for advice, not a series of insults. I thought you would be supportive, I guess I was wrong." Serena slammed the door behind her and headed straight home. When she got their Dan was sitting in his comfy sofa-chair reading a book.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I got in a fight with Blair," She said as she walked into his arms. He always knew how to make her feel better. They were young and could afford to live on their own. Being with Dan felt right.

"What did you fight about?"

"You?"

"Me? Why would you be fighting about me?" He asked. Dan wondered what Blair could have said about him that upset her this much. She hated how Blair had the ability to cut Serena. He didn't understand their friendship, but he tried to respect it for Serena's sake.

Serena bit her lip and debated telling him what she found. Dan could tell she was holding something back, but he didn't want to push her. "You can tell me," He said gently.

"I, I found the ring. I needed advice from my best friend so I told her and let's just say she didn't have many nice things to say."

"It's Blair. Does she ever have anything nice to say about anybody other than herself?" Dan quipped. He tried to side-step the fact that she had found the engagement ring that he had bought a few weeks ago. Serena looked at him and said, "You're doing that thing you do."

"What thing?"

"Avoiding the issue with one of your quips. Dan, I found the ring. I know we're young and you're nervous about what I might say, but I believe in us and our forever. Just remember that okay," She said as she held him closer to her.


	14. Chapter 14

I want your love

**Author's Note:** I hope you like this chapter. The story is starting to wrap up. One more and a prologue. I hope all the Vanessa haters out there won't be to upset about this chapter. I've decided to take some license with her character. I still think the show should have done Vanessa/Carter. Anyways, I hope you like the chapter.

**Chapter 14: Letting Go, Moving On.**

Vanessa stood in front of Dan and Serena holding a plant in her hand. She smiled at them hoping that this would work.

"What are you doing here?" Dan said as he stared at his ex-girlfriend with suspicion. Serena stood behind him smiling awkwardly, "Come in Vanessa."

Serena gave Dan a look of warning and he decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I came to apologize and I brought you guys a housewarming present."

Dan looked at her with surprise. This was the last thing he had expected from him then again he felt like he never knew who she was. Vanessa kept doing things that were so far from the girl he had grown up with that he no longer could tell what was genuine and what was a scheme.

"I know you probably don't trust me, but I wanted to apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I wanted to say I was sorry for everything."

Serena took the plant from Vanessa and placed it beside the couch. "Thanks Vanessa. We appreciate it. I have an errand to run, I'll leave you and Dan to talk."

Once she was gone, Vanessa tried to think of the right words to say. "Dan, I meant what I said. I really am sorry for everything and…"

"And what?"

"I miss you. Before everything we were friends."

"I appreciate the apology, but I don't even know who you are anymore. I need time."

Vanessa looked down at her feet and for the first time in months she was beginning to regret her actions. She missed Dan, but she missed their friendship more than anything else.

"I understand. You know where to find me," She said before leaving.

Vanessa came home to find Carter waiting for her. He was lying on her bed with that handsome smirk on his face. "Hey beautiful."

"What do you want?" she said in a tone that was unconvincing to her own ears.

"I wanted to talk to you. Before you say anything let me talk. I like you. Frankly, I don't know why. You're surly and you dress like you're a homeless gypsy, but you intrigue me. You're beautiful and smart and I am really sick of pretending to be interested in this stupid little scheme to break are exes up because I just wanna be with you."

Vanessa put her hand on her hip and said, "Are you done?"

"Just about," he said before kissing her until he could feel her melting in his arms. "Now, I'm done. Call me when you're ready to stop playing games."

Vanessa stood there speechlessly and watched him walk out the door. She knew she should say something that she wanted to say something. Instead she said nothing. Eventually she opened her laptop on opened the program that she'd set up early and watched an image of Dan's living room. She felt uncomfortable when she saw him holding Serena. "This is wrong," she said to herself. She knew she had nothing to gain by bugging their apartment, yet she still did it. This was a personal low for her. She wasn't going to get him back. The reality was staring her right in the face. He loved her, he always had. Vanessa had convinced herself that Serena was just a teenage crush, but she was so much more than that and for the first time she was excepting that reality. So, she deleted the program from her laptop and closed it. She was done living in the past.

Dan held Serena's hand as she waited to meet her little sister formally. She was sitting in the restaurant waiting for her father, his wife and their daughter Angie. Eric had refused to come so she'd asked Dan to come instead.

Angie pointed at Serena and said, "Hey, it's you. What's going on? This feels weird."

"You're telling me kid."

"Angie, I'd like you to meet your big sister Serena."

The little girl looked at her father in confusion before getting up and walking off. Carolyn got up to go after her. "Let me," Serena asked. She found her sitting near the fountain just outside of the restaurant. "Hey, mind if I join you?"

"Might as well," She said.

"I know this is a shock. I know how you feel though. Like everyone's been lying to you."

"That's because they have."

"I won't."

Angie looked up at her and said, "Are you really my sister?"

"Yep, and you have a brother too, but he was mad so he didn't come."

The little girl kicked the ground at her feet and said, "He is? Aren't you mad?"

"I was, but I've always wanted a sister."

"Me too. So, is that guy like your boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah, he is."

"He's cute. I like him," Angie said. Serena smiled and hugged the little girl. They went back to the restaurant and sat down to eat. The conversation was stilted at best. Angie broke the silence by asking a bunch of inappropriate questions.

"So, how can he be your boyfriend if your mom and his dad are married. Isn't that like not legal."

Dan coughed nearly spitting out the wine he had been drinking. "Well, some people think its weird, but it is legal. Have you ever seen Clueless?"

"No, what's that?"

Dan rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Here we go..."

"Only the best movie ever made," Serena began as she started to tell her little sister about her favorite movie. "Daddy do you like him?"

"I don't know him, but he seems okay," William responded.

"And my brother? Is he normal or is he dating your sister?" Angie asked. Serena looked at Dan and laughed. The girl definitely was precocious.

Meanwhile, Rufus was busy packing for the road. The band he was managing was going on tour and Lily was none too happy about his decision to go. "Rufus, I don't understand why you need to go on tour with them. Couldn't you just call to check in on them?"

"No, they are just starting out. They need me."

"This is all rather silly. You don't have to work."

He looked at her with impatience. "I'm tired of being your househusband. This will be good for us, you'll see."

"House-husband? Is that how you see your life with me?" She asked.

"It's the truth. I don't work. You take care of everything. It's not my money, it's yours and well your ex-husbands. I don't feel comfortable. I thought I could be, but I just can't."

Rufus closed the suitcase, grabbed his coat and hopped into a cab headed for the bus station. He had never been as happy as he was on a tour bus. Dan and Jenny were old enough to be on their own now. He felt like he owed it to himself to give this shot before he had anymore regrets.

Vanessa showed up at Carter's hotel room with an apology all ready, but once he was standing before her she wasn't sure what she should say.

"Cat got your tongue, darling?"

"You could say that."

"You know the deal," He said as he led her inside.

She stood there looking at him. She licked her lips delicately and said, "I'm not good with trusting people, but you're right. This thing with Dan is stupid. It's time for me to move on, but I need to do this on my terms."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"You're not calling the shots. We do this together or we don't do it at all," Carter said.

Vanessa wrung her hands. She understood what he was asking, but she wasn't sure she was ready to comply to his terms. She wasn't ready to lose all her power again. "I'm not asking you to love me. I'm asking you to let go a little. Smile, have fun and stop trying to control every little thing."

"I like having control."

"So do I, but I'm willing to give you a little. I'm not asking for much here beautiful."

She looked up at him and there was something in his eyes that made her feel like she could believe his words. "Okay, I'll try. That's all I can promise you."

"Come here sugar," he said as he held out his arms. Vanessa walked into his arms hoping she wasn't making another mistake.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** This is it, the final chapter. I have been writing this fic for nearly three years and I feel like there really is no more story to tell. I've put all of my couples together and Serena has met her baby sister. I apologize to any readers who feel like this ending is abrupt, but I feel like there isn't much more I can do with the story.

* * *

Vanessa slipped out of bed and opened up her laptop. She disabled the camera that was monitoring Serena and Dan's apartment and shut her computer down. She turned to find Carter looking at her with suspicion.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing, at least not anymore."

"That was sufficiently vague," He whispered as he looked at her and mussed her hair. Vanessa slipped off her robe and slid into bed next to him. "Thank you," She said as she kissed him.

"Anytime. Even though I don't know what I've done," He said as he ran his fingertips across her back. She snuggled closer to him. Carter had helped her to let go of something that she'd been clinging to for years. For the first time in a long time she felt free. Her feelings for Dan had been a noose around her neck that drove her to do things she'd never thought she would do. First thing in the morning, she'd go over and apologize.

**_Three Years Later, Brooklyn New York_**

Dan stands in front of the full length mirror trying to fix his tie when Serena comes up. "Turn around," She demands. He does as she says and smiles at her while she makes quick workof her tie. His heart beat quickens, something she is still capable of doing to him. He smiles down at her and tries to imagine his life, his world without her and he comes up empty. The past three years have been filled with wonder. Once she's done she pats him on the chest and smiles. "There you go."

Dan lays his forehead on hers, "You're amazing."

She blushes and playfully pushes him. He grabs her hands and kisses each finger delicately. Her heartbeat catches in her throat as she watches him.

_I'm always going to love him_

"We don't have time for this. We're going to be late to your graduation."

Dan smiles at her and reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ring, he'd bought years ago. "I know you've probably forgotten about this and I don't know what I've been waiting for, but the last few years have been unbelievable," He takes her hand and slips the ring on her finger. "Marry me, Serena."

She smiles so bright that it lights up her face and wraps her arms around him. "I'm yours. Always have been, always will be."

_She's mine_

There isn't a single word that can express the joy he feels in this moment. He picks her up and twirls her round and round until they re interrupted by Jenny's voice.

"Don't you guys ever get sick of being sickeningly sweet?" She says playfully. Dan puts Serena back on solid ground and grins at his baby sister. Serena stretches out her arms so that Jenny gets a good look at the ring on her finger. Jenny's eyes widen and look from one to the other.

Jenny catapults herself into her brother's arms nearly knocking him down, "I'm so happy for you!"

She detangles herself from her brother's arms and hugs her future sister-in-law. "I knew this would happen. Be good to him, I don't think I could handle another round of Serena-less Dan. He gets super mopey and basically unbearable."

"Hey!" Dan says with mock anger.

"Come on, we'll talk details later. You're going to be late graduate."

Serena watches Dan cross the stage and to receive his degree and immediately rises to her feet. She cheers and claps loud enough for the people next to her to look at her warily, but she doesn't care. That is her man up there and she is proud of him. Dan waves at her sheepishly and takes his seat with the other graduates. Later, he comes up to her and swings her around, "You know if you were a louder maybe the Dean at Columbia could hear you."

"Can't I be happy for you without getting mocked," She says.

"Nope," He replies with mock sincerity.

Serena laughs at him and loops her arm in his as various professors come up to congratulate him. They are soon joined by Rufus, Jenny and Eric. They all pose for photographs for what seems like forever when Rufus notices the ring on Serena's finger.

"Well, well," He says, hugging them both tightly.

Rufus ushers his son to the other side of the room and asks him to take a walk. "You know I'm proud of you, don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

He hands him a piece of paper. "Originally this was going to be my graduation present to you, but think of it as an engagement gift."

Dan read it and looks up at his father, smiling, "You're giving me the loft?"

"It's been yours for years. I'm going on tour with the band I'm managing. I'm so proud of the man you've become," Rufus answers as he embraces his son tightly.

Later that afternoon, Rufus holds a big lunch in his son's honor. The graduation lunch quickly morphs into a celebration of their engagement. Serena holds Dan's hand as they listened to their friends and family say nice things about them. Serena tries not to get emotional, but she can feel the tears on her cheek.

"Hey, why are you crying?"

"I just, I can't believe this is my life."

She kisses him sweetly and whispers, "I love you."

**THE END…**


End file.
